Try to understand why some people backstab or double-cross. A - TopicsExpress

Try to understand why some people backstab or double-cross. A backstabber is someone who pretends to be your friend, or to be on your side, and then turns around and does or says things that lead to you being harmed, exposed, or treated badly as a result of things they suggest or reveal. Backstabbing is a form of manipulation and reveals a person who is disloyal, insecure, and very unsure of their own place. Understanding the motivations behind backstabbing can help you to find ways to deal with it, as well as showing you that the backstabber is very often a person with poor emotional resources and is probably a very unhappy individual. While that doesnt excuse their behavior, it can reassure you that the backstabber is probably like this with many people and needs to be treated objectively as someone to be careful of. Reasons why people resort to backstabbing include: Inability to make close friendships or keep friendships, and perhaps a fear of getting too close to other people in case theyre hurt. Gossiping in a mean-spirited way can cause them feel theyre more attractive to people theyd like to have friendships with. Inability to get where they want to in life because theyre not talented, dislike hard work, cannot figure things out, or theyre afraid of doing the innovative things themselves. Their greed for promotions, profit, or bettering their position can cause them to see backstabbing as an easy path through. Seeking to impress someone else. This can be the case where the person doesnt feel theyre getting enough attention or respect from someone in authority or someone they wish they could spend more time with. It can be made worse where youre spending time with the person the backstabber would like to befriend. Jealousy. An insecure person who also harbors jealous thoughts about someone else can easily resort to backstabbing as a way of feeling superior over the subject of their desire and can even view this as a sort of revenge, as a way of taking down someones strengths, to make themselves appear and feel stronger. Stupidity. Some people just dont understand the limits of dropping other people in a mess. It might amuse them, or it might be because they dont really understand the extent of the ramifications involved in undermining another person, but they just dont think about what theyre doing and the harm theyre causing. Revenge. Perhaps you did something (knowingly or unwittingly) that they dont feel that they can forgive you for, and this is their sneaky method of getting back at you. In this case, look at what you might have done in relation to this person. Try to see whether there is something that might have caused them to feel so angry or disoriented that they wanted to hurt you.