Tuesday 12 JULY 1994 The Shambolic Punk Retard Tour takes a day off yet, 20 years hence, this is the day that looms largest in the memory. Dick does some filming of Basil wearing his new Co-op Noddy Holder suit outside our house. (Snap of my good self is the only still I have to hand from this day). Guitarist Rod Vomit receives a phone call to inform him that he is now a gully qualified Quantity Surveyor. How punk rock is that?! Like Charlie Harper taking delivery of his first Rolls Royce or Vic Godard dodging a German Shepherd and posting his first A4 manilla. During the day Teddy Slaz takes us on a magical mystery tour to his house via the Premier Drum Factory and the cemetery where Keith Moon is rumoured to be buried. I wish Id taken note of Joe Ortons childhood address for a pilgrimage. As evening comes we step in to town to find somewhere to eat and drink. We go first to a wine bar, but Basils Road Fever begins to bite in a most unusual way. For the remainder of the evening he is mute and communicates only to Dick in the manner of Sooty conversing with Harry Corbett. From the bar we go to a narrow lane to a place called the Attic where we can get good pizza, Teddy tells us. We have the added bonus that they have a cabaret slot. Yes, folks, we arrive just in time for the first of Maurice Colemans two sets. Now, the world of showbiz is full of revered deservedly names - your Roy Orbisons, your Glenn Campbells, your lous Christies. This chap deserves to be regarded in the same company. A guitarist as dextrous as Jose Feliciano with the voice of Lennie Peters, Maurice Coleman is the real deal. He is also 72 years old. Dick and I hatch a business deal during the first set that will make us both millionaires. We will sign him up to a recording contract. We can market him as Maurice Childish, Billys dad. We have our own recording studio at Toerag. Dick writes him out a cheque for £200 on the spot to prove we are not all hot air. In the interval we approach him to broker the deal, handing him a bona fide cheque for £200 (TWO HUNDRED POUNDS STERLING). Do you know what? He cant be bought. I told you he was the real deal. No amount of persuading will get him into Toerag. he throws our showbizz riches back in our faces. He does, however, sell us two of his cassettes and we sit back to savour the second set, in which he plays some more modern material including a number by Stevie Wonder.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 08:51:46 +0000
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