Uggh... Great night topped off with an argument with the old woman, mujer... yeah, the one that is supposed to be a mom... but instead continues to put the weight of everything possible on me while she plays like she has no thoughts. Except for her other children and putting more and more on me. They only care about her when she is in the hospital. They can camp out for a week, then... Otherwise, they dont care. They turn her into the most horrible, disgusting personality and leave me to deal with it. They have no time. They claim they do not want to come over to the house because I am disagreeable with them... but if they call ahead of time and say they will be showing up... I dont need to be here. They are the most antagonizing evil beings I have ever met. That scares me because I can give new people breaks because it seems like anything is better than them. I mean, I overlook things I should be more guarded on because I am dying to find people and prove I have trust left in me. I am as careful as I can be, but I am so desperate to get at least out of this psychological realm! Maybe I do need therapy. The last thing I need is to jump into a similar situation of control and sick, distorted mentalities. [I think I am OK, I am pretty critical... but how long does it take to know someone? I am 40 and just realizing who my mother really is!] It always comes down to the fact that I need to get out of here... I am financially strapped... long, legitimate, whistle blower (no pun intended) stories... I had to fight for my PhD while they were like the Coyote putting explosive roadblocks in my Roadrunner way the whole time... I have been trying to find a guy who is not afraid of this situation... I finally have time to focus on getting out and she suddenly does not want me to leave. Play the old woman derelict card. I am dying here. I am so sick of this. She cant do anything but rake leaves so that everything in the house that is too big for us is done by me. She has no money to pay anyone to help us. The only person she ever hired to help us turned out to be a murderer a few months later. (Recommended handyman by the eldest of her daughters/female sibling.) How am I ever supposed to naturalize a peaceful state? I am sorry. I love friends who promote it... but if you were in my life? You would have probably committed suicide because life is not so sunshiny the way you see it. I have to fight every day. When I am happy? This woman kills it deeper. Guess who looks like the villain? The younger person. OK, Mommy, Dearest. You are Queen. You kept me here for 40 years. I will just bow down now and obey your distorted commands so that I do not have to be homeless.? Just go say the Rosary, and I will comply.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 05:37:28 +0000
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