Very often, when choosing a relationship, we do so because either that relationship activates a memory map that leads back to an Original Wound, or because we are attempting to fix, or, at the very least re-shape, a relationship associated with that wound. Just as often, those relationships tend not to work out, and the break in the relationship leads us to an experience that can range anywhere from passive resignation to pathological mourning. [...] This Original Wound can occur at any point during our early development -- even as a pre-natal event or into later adolescence - and typically plays off the perils of social rejection and self-worth. Again, since we are talking about a social phenomenon, we refer to self-worth, rather than self-esteem; self-esteem is about you, whereas self-worth is about you in relationship to your social system. [...] Uncovering this Original Wound sources the genesis of the behavior and gives us something with which to work. Shifting that awareness from the head to the heart - shifting the knowing of thing into the owning of a thing - is the first step. Learning to be present in our lives in such a way that allows us to recognize when we are playing out, or beginning to play out, our game or dance is the next step. Choosing not to make the Original Choice based on the Original Wound is the third step. And, finally, sticking to the Alternate Choice is, ultimately, the key to lasting change.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 09:18:53 +0000
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