WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken wont realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid hes acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems. OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take a fall, which is a part of life, am’ e going to give the chicken a car so he could just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We dont really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know, is the chicken on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here. DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. It’s the luckiest chicken in Iraq ANDERSON COOPER / CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken involved, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the chicken or the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chickens intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it. JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because hes GUILTY! Ask Nancy Grace. You can see it in his shifty eyes and the way he is walking in a hurry. PAT BUCHANAN: Because the chicken is an illegal and it wants to steal the job of a decent, hardworking White American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped below a certain level. Is somebody listening in? DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed Ive not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain and storm, alone! JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Cant you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side.Thats why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends that chicken is gay and if you eat that chicken you will turn gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be free to cross the road. Its as plain and simple as that! GRANDPA: In my day we didnt ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isnt that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting crisis but went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens living in this world, Yo Hoo, they can cross the road together and live in peace. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I’ve just released eChicken 2014, which will not only cross roads, lay eggs, file your documents, balance your check book and do your shopping, among other things. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The platform is much more stable and will never brea...#@&&. ?? C: \..... Reboot!! ALBERT EINSTEIN: If we know the chickens mass and velocity, we could determine its acceleration and thus know whether the chicken really crossed the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. Which chicken, and what is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken, just an inconvenient TRUTH. JOHN BOEHNER: Sobbing Did that chicken really cross the road? I bet it is Obama’s fault! We should repeal any law that allows the chicken to cross the road even if we have to repeal it 49 times, that’s what the American People want us to do. MITCH MCCONNELL: My principal goal is to make this chicken a one term chicken. DONALD TRUMP: I would like to see the chicken’s long form Birth certificate! SEAN HANNITY: The chicken crossed the road because he is an Obama supporter and he had something to do with Benghazi, the IRS scandal, voter fraud and the Govt. shut down. TED CRUZ: Because this chicken is squishy; if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen, chicken! BILL O’RIELY: Talking points memo: The chicken crossed the road because he is a 47 per center; he was offered ‘Free Gifts’ to cross the road by Obama! HARRY REID: speaking very softly: Chickens, goats, horses, I am confused, but this I know we don’t have sixty votes to break the filibuster! NEWT GINGRICH: He’s like me, when he sees a good thing he knows it and makes a run for it, like I did for my platinum blonde, Celesta. I wasn’t going to hang around with the one with breast cancer and the other with MS. I disagree with O’Riely, he is not a taker; he knows you can’t get chicken feed with the Presidents food stamps. CONFUCIUS: Journey of chicken to cross road begin with 1st step but he who wait for roast chicken to cross road and walk into mouth, wait a long time. JESUS: Father, forgive this chicken for he knows not what he does. RACHAEL MADDOW: Several years ago there was this fox, stay with me, he was involved in a scandal of substantial proportions and now years later we know it had something to do with a chicken crossing the road; I believe there may be connections with the debt ceiling debacle and govt. shut down; we will be drilling deeper into this issue, SO WATCH THIS SPACE. ED SCHULTZ: The chicken crossed the road because Scott Walker took away his pension rights, so “Let’s Get to Work” and talk to this chicken. CHRIS HAYES: Click 3 - greatest thing on the internet today. Why did the chicken cross the road?” STEPHEN KING (R-REP IOWA): Are you talking about the chicken with cantaloupe calves and carrying 75lb of Marijuana? He crossed the road after jumping the border fence. A TEA PARTY - BIRTHER: FLYING THE GLADSTONE FLAG AND CONFEDRATE FLAG; CARRYING AN M16 RIFLE, 10 DRUM MAGAZINES, 20 HAND GUNS AND A ROCKET LAUNCHER. That chicken, you mean the black rooster! He is no chicken, he is a Kenyan Muslim, anti-colonial socialist who hates whites and is coming for our guns, take away our healthcare, apologize for America, tank the economy, give amnesty to Illegal’s, make Jeremiah Wrights the Pope and Bill Ayers Secretary of Defense AND THAT JUST FOR STARTERS!!!!! Ask Glen Beck!!!! COLONEL SANDERS: Did one get away?
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 20:07:30 +0000
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