When I was a hospice social worker, I was frequently privileged to care for patients who had been married for 30, 40, sometimes 50 years. I loved to listen to the histories of their romances and their lives together, and I would always ask them to share the secret of a long and successful marriage. One day I was visiting with a couple who had been married for 46 years and when I asked the question of her (the patient), she answered that it was learning to communicate, mutual interests, trust, faith, and sometimes just getting through it. He held her hand as she slipped back into sleep, for she was fading, and her husband and I went into the kitchen and had a cup of coffee. I posed the question to him-was it trust? Communication? A shared vision? How does one manage to love one person for so long? He sipped his coffee pensively and said, Well, darlin, I cant speak to any of that. All I know is that she made my jagged edges smooth. Years later, on my second anniversary with Andrew Shaffner, I remember that gentleman and his beloved, departed wife. It still resonates with me, as someone who has always felt pretty rough around the edges, and I am grateful for my wise and steady husband, who did not fear that and has offered me unconditional acceptance in spite of it. You are my exfoliant, my polishing cloth. I cant speak to the rest of it, but you make my jagged edges smooth. Happy Anniversary, Andrew. I love you.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 17:30:16 +0000
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