While in the process of measuring a house in Elmira today, I walked through a spider web, strung between the side of the house and a large bush. The hapless spider, in her haste to escape, leapt blindly and plopped down the front of my shirt. I quickly untucked my shirt, holding it away from my body, flapping the material and trying to look down into the collar. I couldn’t see a damn thing, so I unbuttoned the top three buttons. As I bent my head down to look again, a gnat took the opportunity to fly up my nose. And I mean UP my nose. Placing a thumb over one nostril, I frantically blew through the other, attempting to extricate the intruder from my sinus cavity, all the while shaking my now open shirt and praying it didn’t make it all the way down into my pants. As if on cue, two teenage girls strolled by. The look of horror on their faces was priceless – seeing this disheveled bum in the bushes, dancing like a lunatic and blowing snot rockets. They looked at each other and quickened their pace considerably. If I had taken one step in their direction I know they would’ve broken into a run. I never found either bug, and I don’t know which to be more nervous about –a gnat in my nose or a spider in my shorts.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 16:46:48 +0000
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