Yesterday I was feeling so down and upset by the end of night. I even cried. I realised that I am not gonna get the help that I desire and I have to learn to do everything myself. I talked about that to my close friend just earlier and he told me Well, but then you are gonna become like Mozart back in his times.He didnt have anyone to write his music for him. So last night I realised how alone I am in this journey - there is no one to produce me or invest money in me, and if I want to be everything, then I must become everything I am not ......YET. I realised that if no one produces me,then I MYSELF WILL BECOME EVERYTHING I NEED TO PRODUCE MYSELF. Frankly I didnt spend my life studying music for nothing, and my genetic predisposition from my fathers side clearly shows that I am not an everyday girl. I am totally capable to getting this done.Worse people do this on the fly, so why cant I? Its gonna take time to master that. So what? I have been studying music production upon music composition and doing the pieces that would give me experience and knowledge. Soon there will be the time when I start producing originals having learned the nuances of music production and mixing. No, I dont have to do that. I can totally be just a composer,but if no one opens a door for me, I am gonna break through a wall and build it myself. Oddly, after I cried,my attention was caught twice by the name Mozart mentioned in two different places. This morning again,while surfing Facebook, I saw Mozarts portrait some place. And to top things off, while writing THIS VERY POST, every time I type in the name Mozart,some band with the same name shows up in a tag suggestions.Well,Mozart to me has always been one of those spiritual guidance signs via which a spiritual world would communicate to me since I am attached to this figure since early childhood for some reason. Mozarts presence attached to some event or a thought has always been a life changing and life enriching experience. When I see his name or portrait, I know I must follow or I am supported in my decision by the heavens office ( ;-). All I can say at the moment is I assume that numerous appearances of Mozart in the past 12 hours should only mean that heaven supports my thoughts and decision and I should pursue this path till the end. All I know is becoming a solid music producer on top of being a composer will make me independant from anybody. I will not need anyone to do everything I want in music. I will be able to produce myself and anyone my heart desires. I guess this is the Gods plan for me. SO be it.
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 17:28:56 +0000
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