Yesterday morning, I was so proud of my kids. Noah had been in the backyard, picking up dog poop (because he wanted to!), & then decided to clean up the mess he & Dakota had made in the back yard. He went to pick up a piece of cardboard, & a little grass snake struck at him. He was startled (understandably so) & ended up trying to defend himself from the scary grass snake with the pooper scooper. The snake was mortally wounded in the battle. Two nasty punctures left the snake twitching & sucking air. Noah came running in the house demanding something sharp & flat; I got a snake to kill! Of course, I went running, because I was concerned about the type of snake that was going to send my 12 year old to the ER. I get outside, & Dakota is holding the snake in a container, & is telling me that we cant kill an innocent little snake; it didnt do anything wrong! I looked at the snake & knew it was a goner. I explained to the boys that even though the snake had done nothing wrong, it was hurt & dying & that we had two choices. We could kill it quickly & put it out of its misery, or we could let it suffer, & it would die anyway. Dakota agreed that we had to kill the snake. He took a brick & started toward the driveway to kill it. I reminded him that he needed to make sure to kill the snake the first try, & not to torture that poor snake any more than it was already hurting. This is why I am proud. I am proud of Noah for taking the initiative to clean up the backyard. He is so good at that sort of thing! And I am proud of Dakota for recognizing the sanctity of the life in that little snake. This is my child who has struggled with recognizing that anyone or anything outside of himself is valuable. And of course, that struggle was because he didnt recognize his own value either. In fact, because of his history of trauma & loss, there was a time (not too long ago) that Dakota was the gleeful taker of life. In the grand scheme of things, the loss of a little grass snake doesnt look like a big deal. However, the fact that Dakota recognized that the snakes life was important is a HUGE deal. Noah loves animals (all animals), so even though he struggles in some of the same areas as Dakota (because he shares the same history of trauma & loss), he has NEVER willingly harmed an animal. Noah would never have hurt that snake if he hadnt been startled & frightened & therefore reacted with his lizard brain. Dakota, however, hasnt always seen the value in other creatures, & was willing to lash out at anything smaller & weaker than him. Watching him fight for that little grass snakes right to life yesterday reminded me (again) that God doesnt give up, just because someone is a lost cause. Dakota was a lost cause. He had no conscience, & was perfectly ok with harming other living beings. That is scary stuff! That is the kind of stuff that leads to much scarier stuff. You know what that stuff is. I dont have to write it down. You are already thinking it. But the beautiful thing is that Dakota is not that person anymore! Conventional wisdom says that a person cannot come back from that stuff & that a person cannot grow a conscience when there is nothing to start from. But my God is bigger than what we know. And for about the millionth time, I am reminded that there is NO SUCH THING as a lost cause. Dont believe me? Come spend a day with me. Let me tell you our unabbreviated story, with no sugar on top to make it more palatable, & then spend time with my boys. They are normal little boys. Most of the time, anyway. They have boundaries, they know how to form healthy relationships, & they are growing up to be productive members of society. None of these things are on target with their peers yet, but they are on target with their 8 & 9 year old friends. A year ago, these things didnt exist at all. Also, I can now keep the scissors in a drawer. Thats right. I havent had to put them back in the lock box! Yes, God is definitely the healer of the broken, the lover of the hurting, & the Savior to the lost causes...
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:07:30 +0000
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