ive been in this industry for 10 years. and i never really - TopicsExpress



          

ive been in this industry for 10 years. and i never really realized how i do this CONTINUOUSLY....i had 2 times that i took 10 days ( one to go see my grandparents for the last time in okinawa, and the other to visit my sister in europe when she was living there)....but i dont take chunks of breaks....i have big guilt on taking time off, last year was the first year i took a few 3-4 days trips on weekends for me, and i cut my hours of work dramatically. it truly helped. i had to keep repeatedly keep telling myself that its ok to take time, and i have worked hard, and taking a break doesnt mean i am being lazy....the voice in the back of my head still tells me that i am lazy and everyone else is working harder....blah blah blah....im having a rough time this week teaching class, it like i feel overwhelmed standing in front of so many people ( WHICH PLEASE, dont take it wrong, i LOVE MY JOB and would never change it, and i LOVE YOU GUYS).....i just feel a little like being by myself and i dont have the ability to exchange energies....i just want to ball up into me.......i have come a long way, right now i only teach 4 classes a week, adn that is CRAZY to even think, bc i feel like GIRL! DO SOEMTHIN!....but i need this recoop time SO THAT I CAN GIVE BACK MORE.....i think i do need to consider taking real time off (not ready yet...but i gotta do it at some time)......back when i was depressed i remember having anxiety imagining myself like a dancing puppet being forced to dance day after day (this was back when i taught several classes a day, 7 days a week).....i want to find the good balance of self-care and also being able to exchange and share energy with you guys. i want to LAST in our community so i can bring the BEST of me to you...i feel bad when i dont give you the best of me, and i know its bc i need to figure out how to balance. I LOVE YOU GUYS! THANK YOU for sharing this journey with me. Im learning more and more I swear i have A LOT i want to do in my life, so im gonna figure out how to make it LAST.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 03:28:27 +0000

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