3 Ways To Decide If Youre In Love Or Just In Lust By Aaron Kaplan Not sure about your feelings? Heres how to know if what you are feeling is really love. Moving from like to love is one of the most important transitions a couple can make. Unfortunately, its also one of the most misunderstood ones. Too many couples think that love is the same as lust. This equates love with the ooey-gooey excitement and breathless anticipation that usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship. Defining love this way makes it into a feeling and the down side is that feelings come and go. If you dont want your love to wax and wane with your emotions, you probably dont want to define love solely as something you feel . Our culture doesnt give us a lot of other options for a definition of true love, though. If its not just a feeling, then what else is it? Love Is More Than A Feeling Fortunately, you dont have to lose the concept of love as a feeling altogether. Most of the time, when you are experiencing true love, you will feel positively about your significant other. You may not feel head-over-heels in love with them, but you will think well of them, want to be with them and, overall, feel good about being with them. The difference between true love and defining love as only a feeling is that true love continues even when you dont have positive feelings about your partner. In fact, you can experience true love even when youre furious at your partner, or when they have just hurt you deeply. The thing that causes this difference is commitment. When youre truly in love with another person, you commit to staying with them even when things are hard. You decide that the person youre with is a person you want to continue to be with, and you choose to stay. Note that there are usually some caveats to this decision. For instance, you should not choose to stay with someone who is abusive. Some people choose not to stay with a partner who cheats on them. Whatever your caveats, you can build them in to your original decision. How To Decide Since committing to love someone is a big decision that will affect all aspects of your life, its not one you want to make quickly or without some knowledge that the other person will return your commitment and is someone you want to be with. Luckily, there are some things you can do that will help you decide whether or not to commit to a partner youre in a casual relationship with. These same things will help build your commitment once youve made it: 1. Build trust. After all, you dont want to commit to someone who isnt worthy of that decision. 2. Get to know your partner well and to let them know you. It will be easier to commit to someone who knows your quirks and loves you anyway. 3. Build a strong friendship with your partner. This friendship will help you hold to your commitment even when youre not sure you want to. source: your tango
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 08:01:27 +0000
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