I am constantly floored at how God provides what we need at the - TopicsExpress



          

I am constantly floored at how God provides what we need at the exact moment we need it. This morning on my run, I found myself talking to God and asking the What Ifs. One year ago today, I took Grayson to the doctor for an all the sudden high grade fever. Little did I know this was the first symptom we were seeing of what was going to be the biggest battle of our lives...Leukemia. My heart has been so heavy as this day approached. So many memories (or nightmares!) keep flooding over me. Last year, between July 29 and diagnosis date of Aug 20. We saw symptoms. Could I have done more? Could I have caught it sooner? Is there something I could have done to prevent it? Should I have held and snuggled Kate more knowing wed live separately for the next 6 months? Guilt, anxiety, sadness, twinges of anger...the condition of my heart remembering these days. I came home after my run and after pleading with God to help me push through these days ahead; trusting in His greater plan, celebrating and rejoicing in Graysons current condition, and being thankful for all He has provided over the last year. I opened Facebook while stretching and BOOM! There was this article (posted by a new friend in Gainesville as a result of our time at Shands!). As I read, a sense of relief came over me... Our hope for our kids isnt to protect them from suffering. We cant. Our hope is that we may point them to the one who helps make sense of their suffering because He is so familiar with it. And in finding Him they may also find the healing his wounds alone can provide. Praising God for answered prayers and I will be repeating this as my prayer over the next three weeks. The memories are inevitable, but praying that this year and the days to come continue to push us closer to Him and teach our children that God is good, all the time!
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 13:55:14 +0000

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