------#1168------- I only came to HKU because it has always been my parents dream for me to come to HKU. Another reason is because of the financial difficulties that have been running around my family for years - and for this reason it is very difficult for my family to afford the expensive living costs back in my home country. The last reason being my parents strong desires to return to Hong Kong since they claimed to have failed adapting into the laid-back atmosphere back at home. And obviously my parents wished that I could come to HK with them, and for this I accepted and came to HKU. Now that I am in my 3rd year, I must say that I am failing to getting used to HKU. Im still learning and not giving up, but life is just getting more difficult for me. I have been discriminated for my limited Chinese language skills (although I have improved a lot ever since my 1st year), have been struggling to communicate with local students because I dont have any idea on what to talk with them, even though I learned a lot about HK culture in my 2 years in HKU. I became an ExCo, now living in hall in my 3rd year, working in an organisation (at least this is something that I can resort to at the moment), working part time - just trying to experience and feel what it takes to be bok jun without regrets. Yet there arent really many things to talk about between my friends and I. I have been Skyping my friends during the 2 years back at home while I am also trying hard to fit in into local circles so that at least I dont feel left out. But right now this feeling is really getting me, and it is eating me up quite badly. I have been finding many ways to cheer myself up and not letting myself down (and it is going OK at the moment) but there are a lot of time where I am just really homesick. I never mentioned to a friend that I am happy here in HKU - the most I could ever say was that I feel OK here in HKU, but really it is a slight exaggeration because I lost my way here in HKU. I lost a lot of confidence in class because being the only speaking out in class makes me the odd one out, and subsequently this kind of subtle peer pressure dissuades me from ever speaking out in class again. I feel like I could never pick up where I left off in high school. I considered transferring uni and go home straight away but the financial difficulties hadnt been solved yet. The living costs back at home are simply too high. My parents obviously dislike home - they never liked it from the start, thinking that it is really just a shithole. I recall when I first stepped into HKU, I had a brave aspiration of establishing a successful career or life here in Hong Kong (even if I was kind of forced to come to HK). But right now I am really lost. I am considering other pathways but I just dont wanna stay here in HK anymore. Nevertheless, I made up my mind and decided to go back home after I finish my undergrad degree - perhaps funding my way back by working longer shifts and so on, and maybe Ill talk to my parents someday and hopefully I can persuade them. Not that I got sick of HK, but I really dont feel like myself here in HK. Deep down I am simply really depressed. I always tell myself not to appear depressed in front of my friends and so on - and I have been equipping myself with a cheerful character throughout my 2 years. I never shared with my friends about anything deep down about me. Last November I have met a girl of my dreams (and we have been going out for quite some time already) but because I know what is coming in the years ahead, I just dont want to engage in any relationship with her. Perhaps its just better to stay as good friends. Anyway, wish everyone an awesome Mid Autumn Festival!
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 11:03:38 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015