#0554: OF ABUJA MARRIAGE AND THE GBAGYI CULTURE Marriage is a sacred obligation in every culture of the world. Details ranging from courtship, payment of dowry, and marital rituals vary across creeds, spiritual disposition and traditional obligations. In Nigeria, within the federal capital most especially, a new trend has emerged and is known as Abuja Marriage. This type of marriage, devoid of the usual tortuousness and merriment that comes with wedding planning and its execution, is as simple as a movie synopsis: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl follows boy home and they live forever happy after – or not. The very concept of this type of marriage may awe the mind, but a chronicle of its evolution is sure to blow the curious mind. To the Gbagyi speaking people of Nigeria who happen to be the original inhabitant of Abuja, marriage is a thorough but exciting endeavour. Male Gbagyizas are initiated into the marital manhood between the ages of fifteen and eighteen. Boys within this age bracket can begin the search for a wife as they are considered capable of producing offsprings. The female Gbagyi child could be betrothed between the early age of eight and ten. This is due to the calculation that by the time the dowry payment (which last as long as seven years) is completed and a wedding date fixed, she would have come of age. But before a Gbagyi girl is betrothed to anyone, before parents approve their son’s choice of wife, the following uncompromising questions are asked: is the family of the groom hardworking is there history of madness or famine in his family, how did his forebears treat their wives? How respectable is the bride-to-be, how chastised, is there a history of witchcraft in her family; any case of infertility, and most importantly whether she has ever been betrothed in the past. The answer to these questions determines whether the betrothal or marriage receives a nod or a no. After a nod is received comes the fun or pain as the case may be. Gbagyi people attach unquantifiable importance and strictness to courtship such that it lasts for a period of seven years. When a boy reports to his parents that he has found a wife, or when one is recommended to him by his parents, delegates are sent to the parents of the girl bearing two earthenware plates. The plates are accepted to signify acceptance of their proposition and a member of the family is chosen to serve as intermediary known as migbiyi. The migbiyi deals with everything from here up until the wedding day when he hands the groom over. Because Gbagyi people are predominantly hunters and farmers, dowry is paid in the form of farm work; making of heaps, weeding of ridges, and harvesting of produce. Usually the groom is assisted by his friends, the farming continues two to three times in a year, for a period of seven years. To ascertain the groom’s readiness to fend for the bride he’s asked to bring an equivalent of 50kg of guinea corn; harvest from his personal farm. This is called wyiga. He starts with one wyiga but continues to add until the seventh year when he presents seven wyigas shortly before picking a wedding date. But the Gbagyi culture in its rationality has special consideration for the physically and financially challenged as well as for rebellious lovers. Where the groom lacks the stomach for physical and financial strength to pay the dowry, an alternate marriage is available for him. In this type of marriage the girl packs few of her clothes and moves in with her boyfriend. After two days, immediately after the girl’s parents declare their daughter missing, the boy confesses to his parents that he has stolen a bride. His parents then send emissaries to the girl’s parents informing them that their daughter is safe and with their son. The boy is then fined a ram and a cock. After this, a wedding date is fixed and the ritual begins. This type of marriage also goes for lovers whose parents do not want them married for private or popular reasons. Sometimes this type of marriage is chosen to avoid the shame and retributions that abound when a girl becomes pregnant out of wedlock. Therefore, I make bold to say that Abuja Marriage as is known today is the bastardized version of the Gbagyi alternate marriage. Even in today’s Abuja, the practice of packing a few cloths and off to marriage was propagated by Gbagyi girls like the gospel of a religion. So next time your experimenting self or friend experience that novel fantasy known as Abuja Marriage, humbly fall on your kneels and thank my forebears. Together, from our little corners, we can make the world a better place. Tee Jay Dan
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 06:53:42 +0000
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