1. Move a king mattress by myself from one room to another. Whew! - TopicsExpress



          

1. Move a king mattress by myself from one room to another. Whew! Glad to scratch that off my bucket list; particularly since it was almost the harbinger of my demise. (“Shit, officer. We jus’ come in this morning to finish a little caulking in th’ closet; and there he was—dead under a king mattress. Th’ dogs was lickin’ his face and there was an orange tabby battin’ his head with one paw…”) Puffing and perspiring like a stevedore halfway through the ordeal, I fantasized that if this f**king mattress was a two hundred pound marshmallow; I could roast it and thus gain a place in the Guinness Book of World records. The adventure is complete: my bedroom is tiled, all the furniture is returned, The uproar of camping out for two weeks in the spare bedroom is over. I am a peanut butter sandwich and three ibuprophens away from total collapse. Goodnoir, Facebook. I’m done…
Posted on: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 06:01:53 +0000

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