1 What is a sociopath? Understanding what sociopaths are like is - TopicsExpress

1 What is a sociopath? Understanding what sociopaths are like is critical to reevaluating your relationship. Contrary to some beliefs, sociopaths are not serial killers by definition. They look just like me and you. Here are some definitions of sociopathy: Sociopaths are more likely to be manipulating, pathological liars who get close with people in order to hurt them. Sociopaths are not interested in friendship. What they want out of their “friendship” with you is a loyal follower. They might treat you like a friend to gain access to your companionship, but it is not sincere. As long as you provide some value to them, something they need, they will keep you around. But once they tire of you, you will be abandoned. Sociopathy is connected to mental disease, usually Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The sociopath does not usually feel any guilt or remorse for the things they’ve done to others, nor do they feel normal compassion or love (although this is not always the case). Their friendship with you--along with any outward aspects of charisma, charm, caring, or affection--are part of their public persona. 2 Confront your friend and identify signs of sociopathy. This is always difficult, for a sociopath hides their true nature and tends to be very cunning. Signs of sociopathy may blend with signs of just someone who is simply a bad friend, or someone who has little experience with social interaction. Figure out exact moments when you have felt abused. Wrap your head around all the details, and try to identify whether there has been a lack of conscience, guilt, on your friends part. To help clear your thoughts, write down the facts and your feelings for each moment when you felt wronged. There may be trends or correlations. Confront the friend and evaluate their reaction. Be calm and explain your reasoning in straight facts. Be honest, and dont try to make things sound better than you actually feel they are. Dont sell yourself short. Sociopaths may become aggressive when their integrity is questioned. Rather than fighting the facts about their lying or manipulation, they may attack the person, or you, who is doing the questioning. They may use aggression, or even charm, to reclaim their lost ground. When confronted, the sociopath will make you feel sorry for them. When you feel sorry for questioning them, they consider this a victory rather than caring about the reasons for your doubt. 3 Deal with the initial denial. Your friends sociopathy will be hard to accept. Having been friends for so long, your friendship seemed so honest and true. However, it is important to remember that this friendship in itself is a farce. Here are things to remember: Your friend is not actually a friend. The words sociopathy and friend are mutually exclusive because sociopaths are not capable of feeling positive emotions such as caring. They may have never been interested in your genuine friendship, just your loyalty and complicity. Understand that you have been abused and manipulated. Even if your awkward feelings are small, they are signs that not everything is right with your friendship. 4 Let go of your anger. Once you realize you have been victimised by a sociopath, you may feel like getting even. But be warned: the sociopath has a lifetime of experience in screwing people over. You dont. Your chances of getting even are very small and risky. Its better to get over your anger. 5 Break the friendship. Tell the sociopath to leave you alone. Be assertive, firm, direct, and consistent. If you are unable to make your own decisions and stick to them, anyone can manipulate you with ease. Breaking the friendship may actually be easy. To the sociopath, the friendship has been practically meaningless. It was only special to you. You need to realize a sociopath does not care about you, or your friendship. It has been nothing but a game to him/her. After breaking contact, you will notice the sociopath has immediately forgotten about you. 6 Inform other friends who have also befriended the sociopath. Do not talk negatively about your sociopathic friend. Instead, calmly explain examples of his sociopathic behavior. This is necessary because negative talk would make you highly unpopular amongst your other friends, and drive them deeper into the arms of the sociopath.