1. Why do you speak like you’re white? --- [What I think] I speak like Im educated. I know you went to school so why do you insist on being ignorant? 3. Why don’t you act like most black people? --- [What I think] Why dont you act like you have some home training? 5. How come blacks say it but whites can’t? --- [What I think] Because of questions like that. 7. Why do blacks always pull the race card? --- [What I think] You do realize Im half-white, right? 8. Do you have a baby momma/daddy? --- [What I think] No, but I heard you do. 9. Do you usually date outside your race? --- [What I think] Yes, I do. But, it isnt about race - its because they can actually speak English and dont ask me stupid shit. 11. You know I don’t usually date blacks, right? --- [What I think] I can guarantee that you dont have to. Deuces. 12. Why do black girls have big booties? --- [What I think] How many black women do you actually know? 15. Where are your parents from? --- [What I think] China. 16. You have good hair, are you mixed? --- [What I think] Lord, give me the strength. 17. Are you sure that’s what you’re mixed with? --- [What I think] I wish someone would mix you with some common sense. 21. What are you mixed with? --- [What I think] Molecules. 23. Are you guys really cousins?--- [What I think] No, I just collect random black people off the street. 24. Aren’t all black people related? --- [What I think] Unfortunately, we all descended from the same dark ass people. So, yes, I am related to all people, including your dumb ass. 25. Why doesn’t your name sound ethnic? --- [What I think] Megan is ethnic. Its Irish. 26. Can I touch your hair? --- [What I think] Can I punch you in the throat? 27. Is that your real hair? --- [What I think] No, I scalped someone. 28. How does it get like that? --- [What I think] You know. It grows. 29. Like, why do blacks wear du-rags? --- [What I think] Maybe you should try one. 30. Have you ever worn your hair in braids? --- [What I think] Yes, and dont even say the next thing that wants to come out of your mouth. 32. What is a weave? --- [What I think] Hair. Can I shave yours off for mine? 33. Can black people be racist? --- [What I think] Yes. Like you. 36. Why don’t white people get ashy? --- [What I think] They do, you just cant see it. 40. What is “soul food?” --- [What I think] Food that is so good you will cry. 41. Are watermelons your favorite fruit? --- [What I think] Why dont you come over here while I slice one? 47. What does “twerk” mean? --- [What I think] You are making my teeth itch. 48. What does “ratchet” mean? --- [What I think] How you look in the Facebook pic from the bar last weekend? 49. Are you like, really into rap music? --- [What I think] *blinks* 50. Do you go to a church where people cry and scream? --- [What I think] Oh, honey...bless your heart. 51. Why are most black people so lazy? --- [What I think] My teeth have literally begun to itch. 52. Can black people swim? --- [What I think] Because brown skin means that you have a natural aversion to water...? 54. How do you feel about ebonics? --- [What I think] Really. 56. Why do blacks have their own channel? --- [What I think] For the same reason, sports fanatics have ESPN and the Tea Baggers..oops...Partiers have Fox News. 57. Shouldn’t there be a White Entertainment Channel? --- [What I think] Oh, like almost every other channel ever? 58. Isn’t Bill O’Reilly the worst? --- [What I think] No, you are. 59. Why do blacks always have an attitude? --- [What I think] You obviously havent experienced a real attitude, and you are about to get it. 60. I have black friends, how could I be considered racist? --- [What I think] Because you constantly ask people this. 66. Do black people tan? --- [What I think] No, we crisp. 67. Can we compare skin tones? --- [What I think] Who the **** are you?! 68. Why do blacks say “aks” instead of “asks?” --- [What I think] Let me aks you why you are asking me this. 69. Did you get a scholarship because of your background? --- [What I think] Not just because of that...I just love to marginalize myself in every way possible. 70. Like, are they ever going to let go of slavery? --- [What I think] *sigh* 71. Why do you laugh when comedians tell racist jokes? --- [What I think] Because stereotypes are funny, and I was also thinking you. 73. Aren’t you sick of the slavery conversation? --- [What I think] Yes, and I wish you were too. 76. Are you happy the president is black? --- [What I think] I could give a shit. 77. You know I voted for him, right? --- [What I think] And...? Do you want a cookie?
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 02:56:07 +0000
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