#100 There comes a point I never thought Ill reach in my life. I was fed up with Lutho and his scandals futsek I am done now! And its for good this time yhini bo! Uye wangena ndisamile crying wama emvakwam. Lutho: Linathi. Mna: I want a divorce. I said in a hoarse tone I had a huge lump in my throat kuzode kubenini maan uLutho evisana nam ubuhlungu? Lutho: ayizukwenzeka lonto Linathi. Mna: well see about that. I walked to the living room leaving him standing there. He followed I was now sitting on the sofa starring into space and digesting what just happened. I felt Lutho touching my shoulder, I removed his hand gentle. He sat ecakwam ndabe ndijonge kude. Lutho: bhabha ndicela silungise izinto please mntuwam. Mna: is this what you call fixing things Lutho? Khona what do we fix when nothing is broken? Cause Im used to you messing me around, I give you all of me what do you do? Go out cheating! I leave you what do you do? Chase after me and ruin my happiness, use my kids Lutho and get mama all worried maan what the hell is wrong with you?? He looked at me with begging eyes and for the first time I didnt feel nothing for him. Mna: Lutho ndikuncamile mna shame, uzokuthi umbethelentoni umntwanabantu xandikubuza? Lutho: ebezofuna ntoni kwam? Mna: ebezise mna khona ebekwakho or ebengaphandle? Lutho: okusalayo ebeme egatini yakwam. Mna: mnxim youre so childish, lonto eleke ukhula uye ungabhadli mpela! Akwabe ebekubethe wanya ngoku usazenza ugolliath. Uye wandijonga akathetha. Awunazo neentloni zokumbetha ngenxayba ngoku emncinci kuwe uthathi advantage. Lutho: Linathi khawundiyeke. Mna: andizukuyeka futhi ngomso oku Im filling for a divorce udika gqithi maan! You think you can have me whenever you want kuba kutheni? Kuba uyazi ndiyakuthanda Lutho, well kuphele yonke lonto ngoku. And if ubungenzanga lento uyenzileyo yokungabambi iphone ngeyengakhange aze apha uNic, ucinga bendizoza ngantoni ebusuku Lutho? Ngeenyawo? Lutho: ndivele ndabanomsindo maan xandiyibona lantwana. Mna: mmm, ingase akubambise tana. Lutho: I dont care, Id rather be locked up than see you with him. Mna: awsa acti nje shame. Lutho: ndicela siyokulala Linathi ndiyozela mna. Mna: no thanks Im fine here. Lutho: bhabha please. Mna: I said Im fine Lutho and Im not going to change my mind. I said that putting my feet on the couch ukucacisa that Im not moving. Uye waphakama uLutho waya ekamereni wabuya nengubo wandinika then wayokulala kodwa akavala ekamereni. I couldnt sleep I was worried about Nic so I decided to call him, he picked emva kwexesha elide. Mna: Nic Im sorry man manyani I feel so bad, how are you? Awulimalanga kakhulu?. Nic: dont it wasnt your fault, Im fine baby maan ndizokuba right mna. Wena useright phofu? Mna: ewe ndiright. I just feel so bad. Nic: you shouldnt baby I dont blame you. That man is crazy and hes going to hurt you uzokubona, if bekusiya ngokunokwam bekungase ndingahambi apho kodwa ke ndiye ndacingela wena nabantwana. Mna: so you dont feel Ive abandoned you? Nic: no baby, I know you love the twins and I love them too, nam bendingafuni ubashiye nalomntu. Mna: yho thats such a relief, you know Nic Im developing feelings for you but Im scared that youl hurt me kanje ngaye. Nic: asoze baby I promise. Mna: hayi shame I dont believe you, thing is Ive been very hurt before and Im scared to love again. Nic Im such a horrible person I dont deserve you. I was getting all emotional kodwa ndazibamba kuba besendizibona ndizokutwela nalawamanyala bendiwenza eKapa ndihlala naye. Nic: baby you know I love you, and I see a strong woman when I see you, just that you need to be loved and cared for. Siye sathula isidala sento. Mna: Ive decided to cut all the looses with Lutho, Im filling for divorce. Nic: is that really what you want? Mna: Ive never been so sure in my entire life. Nic: have you told him? Mna: yea. Nic: and... Mna: he never said anything. Nic: thing is baby I dont want you to do that because youre upset, you must do it cause you want to and youre sure of it. Mna: Im sure Nic, Ive put up with Luthos crap for a long time now. Ngoku ayisachaphazeli mna ndodwa sele ngena nasebantwaneni and the people I love, its just too much maan! Nic: ndiyakuva baby but ingase ungangxami maan so that ubone kakuhle ukuba ufuna ntoni. I felt like uNic akafuni ndohlukane noLutho, maybe he enjoys shagging someone elses wife. Mna: Nic kanti wena awufuni ndiyenze lento? Nic: you know ndiyafuna. Mna: then why undishwaqela kengoku? Nic: ingxaki baby andifuni uzisole sowuyenzile, remember that I know how much you love that dude. Ndiye ndathula cause sekuphele yonke lonto ngoku uLutho undishiye ndimonyanya qha ngoku, andiyazi lendlavini asuke wabayiyo maan ekugugeni. Siye sathetha noNic ndade ndozela ndalala. Ndivuswe zizandla ezincinci zindibamba ebusweni ndavele ndancuma ngoku ndileleyo. Lunathi: bhabha. She said with her Angelic voice, oh ndiyamthanda petuna. I opened my eyes wabe sele sithi naa izandla ndamthatha walala ecakwam. Mna: molo Angel kamama. She smiled and burried her face on my chest. Ncoo that was so cute. Uye waphuma uLutho ekitchen carrying Lulutho emenzele ukutya. Wahlala phantsi naye wamtyisa bendimbukele, hes very good maan I guess wafunda kakuhle kulamntwana kaZandile. Uye wamtyisa wagqiba then wamosula ubuso kakuhle wayokubeka isitya ekitchen wabuya nesika Angel wamthatha naye wamtyisa wenza same thing then wayokuqoqosha ekitchen wabuya wahlala esofeni edlala nabantwana bakhe. Lutho: uzokutya ntoni bhabha? Mna: Im not hungry. Bendilibele nokuba yi christmas kefuthi ndlela le ikhanda lam belixinene ngakhona. My phone rang ibingumama I picked. Mama: Asanda kwenzekantoni, baphi abantwana? Mna: baright mha ndifike belele nam ndasose ndalala sokubuya kwangoku. Mama: uLutho uthi kutheni engababuyisanga akugqiba angatsho nokutsho? Mna: hayi mha andazi shame. Mama: ok ke sisi ndizokunibona xanifika. Sabeka iiphone. Ndavuka ndayokuhlamba, I used the clean towels then looked for something to wear ewardrobe since I had left some of my clothes here. Bezisongwe kakuhle, ndakhupha ilokhwe eblack le yayimfutshane ndiyithanda nezihlangu zam bezisekhona, ndathatha ipump ndanxiba then fixed my hair ndenza ibun ndafaka amacinci nale neckpiece ka Nic akhange ndiyikhulule tu. Ndivele ndazibona ukuba ndibaswe kakhulu kengoku, lonto shame andide ndisilahle tu isiqu sam cause the dress fitted me well. Ndithe ukugqiba kwam ndapakisha izinto zabantwana bam neetiti zabo, ebesele bahlambile uLutho. Then ndaphuma sendiyixwayile, eyam ibishiyeke emotweni kaNic iphone yona isinde kuba ibise pokothweni. Lutho: senihamba ngoku? Mna: ewe. Lutho: nizokuphinda nibuye nini? Mna: andazi. Lutho: Im sorry baby for everything. Mna: its ok. I just wanted to get out of that house hence bendingasokolisi. Uye waphakama wabafunqula bobabini I took his car keys then ndatshixa endlini sahamba. Mna bendihleli eback nabantwana he was driving. Sayokufika ekhaya, umama wathatha abazukulwana bakhe without even greeting Lutho. Siye sangena endlini wabulisa kuRhadi wahlala bancokola ndabe ndimbona kwaRhadi lo akathyilekanga ncam. Uye wancama wacela uxolo uLutho ethembisa akasoze aphinde ayenze lento ayenzileyo akazazi ebengenwe yintoni. Uye wamxolela wethu umama esithi akasoze amvimbe bantwana bakhe qha ebeneworry kuba engabambi iphone xa eba check. The following day I met with Nic at the hotel shame ebesadumbe umlomo kancinci kodwa eright. Siye sahlala imini yonke talking about everything amachuku siwabeke ecaleni. Uye wandigodusa late I kissed his lips then ndangena eyardini. OoAna kudala bendiphonela shame I turn them down kaloku I have so much on my plate already akukho xesha lokuparta. Ndiyile emagistrate ndawenza amalungiselelo edivorce so Im waiting ade afike ndikhe ndohlukane nalomntu mhlawumbi kuzotsho kucace ukuba ndifuna ukuthini kanye-kanye. BekuFriday when Nic went back to Cape Town kwaye bendikhathazekile, ebesele right ngoku shame noko akazugoduka anamanxeba. We spent the whole day in town sijikeleza just me and him wethu, then sohlukana ndabamna itaxi egodukayo wabe endithembisile uzokuphona njengesiqhelo. Yagqitha inew year ndisesemlindweni bekungase afike ngoku lamaphepha ndizokutsho ndikhululeke maan yhu bendidikwe kwa kukuba ngumfazi yhu!! I spoke with Bonani ndacela andibuyisele esikolweni ndimxelela nokuba ndahlulakele so ndibuyile emzini. Uye wavuma wabuza ndifuna ukwenza ntoni? Ndamxelela ngala bm wenza yonke into lula wathi uzokundi apply(ela) eUnisa since bendingafuni ukuya eMonti kuba ebesithi ndiyokufunda pha sizonwabele sonke. Andavuma ngenxa yabantwana. I enrolled at Unisa bendivuya kakhulu ndabe ndiqonda into yokuba la Zandile kaLutho azakhe anditeste ndizakumbhuzula amazinyo ngenqindi kanye ngoku ndingazange ndabetha mntu ndizokufundela pha kuye. My siblings had to go back to East London, ndashiyeka ndindodwa eMthatha but atleast I had something to look forward to. Nic and I were still on fire despite the fact that he wanted me to come stay with him qha bendingavumi maan bendisuke ndadikwa kwakusoloko ndinanazela emadodeni. I wanted to focus at school and my kids. Zahamba iinyanga singekavani noLutho qha ehoye abantwana bakhe. Beseziphumile idivorce papers qha kunzima ukuya nazo kuLutho kuba bendinayo indawo emoyikayo. Ndiye ndade ndaginya isibindi kuba kudala ndisithi ndiyaya ndiphinde ndijibilike, ndaqonda ndiyaya nyani ngalamini. I told mama ukuba ndiyaya kwaye theres no turning back. Mama supported me every step of the way, I had told her about everything naye wabe esithi uyamoyika uLutho akasenguye lowa. Wazama nokuthetha naye esithi he must seek for councelling wasuka waphuma wahamba umfana. Ndiye ndafika endlini ndamphonela egatini wazokuvula ebecaca usandokufika kefuthi. Mna: unjani? Lutho: ndiyacenga wena? Mna: nam. Siye sangena endlini. Lutho: drink or coffee? Mna: no thanks. I sat down naye wahlala kwesakhe. Ummm Ive brought you these. Ndiye ndazikhupha kwibag ndamnika. Wakhupha lomaphepha uLutho waya nawo ekitchen ndibone sekuqhuma xandikroba jho uwabasile.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 21:01:57 +0000
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