[143] You know from a young age we are told to obey our parents whatever the costs and put them first. Even the bible goes on to promise us more years if we do and we dont have a choice cause nobody wants to die young. Coming from a place where elders believe that if you dont respect them you are inviting a dark cloud above your life, a dark cloud that will follow you for the rest of your life and a dark cloud that will determine your success. I grew up with the knowledge that my mother was always right and she knew me more than I knew myself, this was instilled in me that I obeyed whatever my mother told me to do with no questions. But that was years ago and what she was asking me was beyond what I could offer, yes I have lied and said I could help her but I didnt expect such for I only had R200 in my name. Like me, my mother loved money and I was starting to realize that she loved it more if it was not hers. Ndisajonge leyo she followed up the text message with a call that I refused to answer cause I seriously didnt know where she thought I would get the money. She was no different to those mothers who send their daughters up for prostitution, like her they dependent on their daughters to provide without questioning of where did they get the money. I was pissed off, worse now that I even told Zimasa that I wanted to stay away from anything stressful and people who brought out the worst in me. She asked if I was going to stay away from Zuko, I smiled but that tore my heart apart; for her to think that Zuko brought out the worst in me. I stopped mid-sentence as I was about to give her a chart of her own love-life and that was probably going to end the friendship then and there; my point is friends shouldnt get too comfortable and speak of a relationship that they didnt know about. But really, school was my main focus and other things were at the back of my mind; expect for Zuko of course. I needed to focus ever more now that two lecturers have complained that I was getting distracted, they were right but what they didnt understand were the battles that life set up for me to fight. Andisekho kulonto mna I said to a begging Nonezwa on the phone, I had decided to let the past be the past and I didnt want to hold any grudges regardless of what had happened between us. We have never been friends and I failed to understand why she was crying on the phone that she missed our friendship. But in reality, it was a beautiful Thursday evening and I didnt want to spoil it by being angry over something I couldnt change. One thing I learnt about life though, we spend so much of our time holding grudges for people and end up being unhappy; life goes on and the truth is nobody really cares how you feel nowadays. She was so happy to hear that, that I swore if she was near me she was going to give me a huge hug. But there was another reason why I was forgiving her though, this is life and people dont just do kind things without expecting something in return. I asked her to make herself available and help my mother while I was away, I instructed her that she should wash the windows cause I knew my mother was going to wait on me to come back so I could do that. She said she will and I promised her that I will bring her something nice when I come back, I dropped the call and decided to switch my phone off so I could study in peace. Peace? You could get that anywhere in East London but not kwa20, if it was not people fighting, having a party, or playing loud music for no reason it was cars running up and down and people speaking on top of their voices though they were next to each other. I was fed up of living there and I almost stopped myself from thinking of taking up Zukos offer and go live with him full time. But I probably would never get the time to study cause wed be too occupied doing other things. I blushed at the the mere thought of his handsome face and his brown eyes and I quickly reminded myself that Zuko was already succesful and I needed to study to get to his level. The weekend passed smoothly with no distractions, I was so shocked that no one went out the entire weekend. I was enjoying the peace of mind and the advices that we were giving each other, even though we didnt know much about life but weve had different experiences and we were just advising each other not to go through what the other one has been through. Yazi sometimes ubokhe uzenze obusy ngoku ungekho busy, dont be too available Tamara said and we all agreed and guyz funeka sifundeni, singa dependeni emadodeni sibenemali zethu Zimasa added. It was all good advices that I intended to keep in my heart as I moved along, I was also so happy that instead of using gossiping about other people as a conversation we were talking about something more meaningful; we were growing. As Svig said that siyazithanda izinto I was glad that we were at least trying to be better people. I called my mother and I told her I could never have the money to buy all the things in her list. She was so disappointed but then she had no choice but to understand where I was coming from, hearing the disappointment in her voice and thinking of other possibilities I could pursue I told her I will try oh unengqondo ke, undifuzile ntombyam she said proudly. We were on our way to Spar when I saw a wallet I took it and I could see the guy who had dropped it, shem he was walking and didnt even notice it. I was about to run after him when Amanda snatched the wallet out of my hands wenzantoni??! She asked, she opened it and took out some cash and gave it back to me mleqe ke, cause lomntu simnceda nje soze asiphe necent!!!! She said.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 16:25:00 +0000
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