21 telltale signs youre walking into an immigrant/heavily cultural Arab masjid: 1. The smell of shoes strikes you as you first enter. Usually as a result of horrible original floor layout planning. (Yes, unfortunately this has to be the first one.) 2. You have the old-timers usually sitting in their own little corner. 3. These old timers will stare you down when you walk in making every possible judgement about the way you dress, walk, and even the way you breathe. 4. If you are a non-Arab, you are almost made to feel like a 2nd-class Muslim and that you should be soo thankful that you have these self-proclaimed more knowledgeable Arabs to teach you your religion, particularly if youre of Desi or African decent. 5. (Notwithstanding the fact that were in the United States) Most or maybe even all signs are in Arabic and you are made to feel like you outta be ashamed of yourself for not being able to read/write Arabic fluently regardless of your past circumstances. 6. But ironically, most of these elders still cant speak English properly even after having had been in the US for over a decade. (Blatant double-standards) 7. You can have a sign with 21k gold lettering engraved that reads Please put your shoes on the shelf and yet half of everyone will look at it and still carelessly leave their shoes on the floor. 8. If you walk in with any type of food enclosed in a lunch/plastic bag, everyone and their mother would have already stared at it and even memorized its exact dimensions. 9. Ironically, 90% + of these lunch bag starers will have bellies hanging down out at least 4 inches past their belt buckles. 10. A group of kids running around like monkeys causing havoc with absolutely no respect for the sanctity of the masjid and their voices raised while their parents look on deaf, dumb, & blind with complete indifference (And the kids arent the culprits here). 11. Ironically, these tend to be the same parents portraying the most outward religiousity. (perfectly groomed beard, always in first line, etc.) 12. The oldest of the oldest are usually the ones to vehemently demand (and succeed) that they make the athan regardless of their skill level or lack thereof. Hell, youd even think they temporarily crawled out of their deathbeds to put everyone through 2 minutes of torture. 13. If youre under 30, youre made to feel like you need to shut your mouth and not get involved in masjid issues because your automatically labeled as young, naive, stupid, & inexperienced. 14. And if your under 30 AND American born, then please just shut up and just let the old-timers (who still cant speak English properly) run the general public meetings and not waste their time. 15. Ironically, each one of these (hopefully elected) board members will demand these meetings be held in Arabic in spite of the fact that the masjid members are not all Arab-speaking, and are meant to serve American Muslims, not their little 19th century village from Palestine. Oh no wait! Youre serving them. 16. Yet ironically, each one of them can go on lecturing for up to a half hour about how we must get the youth involved with the masjid and its leadership. 17. To shut up the loud chattering of the careless women in the back, youd typically need about a dozen sound grenades which may in effect yield you about four seconds of heavenly silence for which you should be eternally grateful for. 18. A huge giveaway is the lines, they will never stand in a line in a civilized manner, especially when there is free food. 19. Construction work/general maintenance can be severely inept. A broken doorknob, hole in the wall, or missing ceiling takes an average of four years to repair or a construction job will visibly not be up to professional standards. That will either be as a result of a board members incompetence, or worse, special interest referrals. 20. Every other elder and his mother that you meet will tell you that he was one of those that founded that masjid...Ironically, these will be the same self-entitled individuals that will wreak havoc with their double-parking and driveway-blocking habits and will throw an emotional fit once the car is towed especially after everything hes supposedly done for this masjid. (Desis you too!) 21. When walking into the wudu area, proceed with caution, as you will notice the violent and unnecessarily loud nose-rinsers and garglers making wudu. Sounds almost like an old man giving birth...out of his mouth. ~Inspired by Unmosquedfilm Watch their trailer and share!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 21:39:18 +0000
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