30/30 #8: A Mothers Hopes I watch my daughter sleep and I think- God, look at that face. I laugh differently being a mother. I thought I knew the sound of every one of my laughs- one uproarious, one fake, one disgust, one nervous, one for my husband, one for my sister, one for my best friend, one for my girlfriends, one that now is wistful because it belongs to each close friend or love from my past, but now? I have a brand new laugh. I have a new view of the World, I have a new hobby and they are all the same. They all belong to this sleeping baby. They each are a piece of the title mother and something tells me the definition of this word will grow, as many words do. All words begin with one meaning, one clearly held definition and with time, they expand. They find exponential growth and from point to point they hold the principle constant but somehow, that number just expands. But being a mother? You never stop growing. Every day there is something new that makes you shake your head in wonder- How can such a silly little human who doesnt even know anything yet for sure make me laugh so much? I watch her and I am amazed. What she didnt know an hour ago, she knows now. What she couldnt do a week ago, bores her already. We all think our children are exceptional. Because they are innocent and just beginning, their lives hold infinite possibilities and we look forward to each one but I want my daughter to know one thing and one thing only. True happiness. I want her to feel secure and joyful in all she does and I want her to feel certain I stand behind whatever that may be. Whether its a poor choice or a great one- I will be there. I will never judge. I will never be disgusted. I will never care beyond what she needs in her life in a certain moment because I know that all moments become memories and soon enough- she will want something new. Why waste my time with her assuming I understand all rational? Just because I have lived my life does not mean my life has prepared me for what hers has in store. My only job is to stand by her through all things, without casting doubt on her choices, and be there when she needs me. And I trust that will be a difficult thing for me to do but what, in this life, is worthwhile, that is not difficult? I look forward to the challenge and the sound of every new laugh she will afford me.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 02:26:25 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015