35 Funny Things for Professors to Do in Class 1. Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises. 2. After confirming everyones names on the roll, thank the class for attending Advanced Astrodynamics 690 and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop. 3. After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream MY PACEMAKER! 4. Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY? 5. Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, The Professor cant hear you, youll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy. 6. If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your piece of chalk, and ask, Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants? 7. Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stop watch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering tsk, tsk. 8. Ask students to call you Tinkerbell or Surfin Bird. 9. Stop in mid-lecture, frown for a moment, and then ask the class whether your butt looks fat. 10. Show a video on medieval torture implements to your calculus class. Giggle throughout it. 11. Announce youll need this, and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board. 12. Wear mirrored sunglasses and speak only in Turkish. Ignore all questions. 13. Ask occasional questions, but mutter as if you gibbering simps would know and move on before anyone can answer. 14. Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz. 15. Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as you pace back and forth. 16. Address students as worm. 17. Announce to students that their entire grades will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment. 18. Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch. 19. Point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each students name, rank, and serial number. 20. Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally. 21. Mention in passing that youre wearing rubber underwear. 22. Growl constantly and address students as matey. 23. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to sit back and groove. 24. Announce that last years students have almost finished their class projects. 25. Inform your English class that they need to know FORTRAN and code all their essays. Deliver a lecture on output format statements. 26. Bring a small dog to class. Tell the class hes named Boogers McGee and is your mascot. Whenever someone asks a question, walk over to the dog and ask it, Whatll it be, McGee? 27. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. Use a complicated symbol youve named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who dont use it. 28. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours. 29. Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside. 30. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute commercial breaks every ten minutes. 31. Announce that you need to deliver two lectures that day, and deliver them in rapid-fire auctioneer style. 32. Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required reading for your class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia, for next class. 33. Warn students that they should bring a sack lunch to exams. 34. Show up to lecture in a ventilated clean suit. Advise students to keep their distance for their own safety and mutter something about that bug I picked up in the field. 35. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CANT HEEEEEEAR YOU!
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 02:19:15 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015