## 37 Ndafika ekomani ndaleqa kwagqirha a gynaecologist. Bendimazi kuba ebenconywa kakhulu and ebe good nyani ndilibele nje igama lakhe. Fika ndabhatala iR200 e reception then ndalinda de kwafika ixesha lam. Ndangena ndabulisa ndahlala phantsi. Dr: how can I help you? Me: I was raped! ( walungisa Indondo zakhe wandijonga) Dr: when? Me: last night. Dr: Im so sorry maam did you go to the police to report it? Me: no! Dr: I advise you to go there and please go for counseling, I will recommend some good psychologist to you. Me: thank you! Dr: do you have any signs of sti or STD? Me: no! ( xoka) Dr: ok please remove you clothes and lay down. Ebeligweja kelo gqirha and umbi sana yhu ngathi sisingcwawu. Bese ndanele naku khumsha mna ngoku kaloku I English le is not our mother land and ke bendi emotionally drained for ube ndikhumsha. Ndenza yonke lento athi mandiyenze wandixilonga, wajonga iphanini, gqiba wathi mandinxibe siyohlala phantsi. Dr: I will give you something to help you dont worry. Do you want to do an HIV test? Me: no Dr: its fine but I think you should do it. Me: Im not ready! Dr: ok I will give you ARVs so as to prevent HIV. Me: ok Wabhala phantsi kwi folder yam then wandinika yona, wandinika namakhadi amabini we psychologist. Wathi mandise le folder e reception and I did just that. Ndanikwa inqwaba yepilisi, ndaxelelwa I instructions to follow, ndahamba. Buso bam bebubomvu, namehlo ngokunjalo. I had no marks or scars. Umzimba wona ubunemivumba ebomvu nemnyama , amabele ebesebuhlungu but not kakhulu. Bendiyinikiwe I cream yothambisa imivumba le izophela. Ndayokhwela itaxi egoduka laqala uvalo kengoku, loba ndizothi kutheni ndibuye early, iphi I bag, and ubuso butheni? Ndacinga icebo ngoku khawuleza, nyani ndeza nalo. Yahamba imoto yayofika yandehlisa ekhaya. Ndake ndama egaythini ndaqokelela isibindi ndangena, xa ndifika akho bantu yhu thanks God. Ndathatha isitixo kwi bloem port ndavula ndaya straight e bathroom ndagalela amanzi ebhadibi ndakhulula and soaked myself for an hour. Bendihleli nje ndijonge phezulu, bekungekho nale inye inyembezi emehlweni am Bendivuya qha kuba ndisindile ekufeni. Ndazixelela uba the only way for me to move in is to accept what happend and try to forgive. Bonga oko efowna ebe etshintsha iphone ande aphumele naku private number ndabe ndingahoyi kwayona. Ndagqiba uhlamba ndaya eroomin ndathambisa le cream, ndanxiba I pj ezinde but ezingekho shushu. Ndayosela ipilisi emva koba nditye i yoghurt. Ndathatha ipilisi ndayozifaka ebhakeni kwenzela zongabonwa, and nalapho ebhakeni ndizifake kwi file. Ndavala umnyango ndayolala. Ndivuswe ngu Cwenga eqabela phezu kwam ndothuka kanjani yho, kancinci ndimjule pha kude. I guess bendicinga ngu Bonga, wabe umntana ekhuphe amehlo caba wothukile, ndazi hleka hlekisa. Me: ndiyadlala haybo, ude uwakhuphe kangaka amehlo. Cwenga: ok ke, ufike nini, kunini ndikukhumbula sanqa, undiphathele ntoni? Me: yho imibuzo engaka ntombi, uphi umama? Cwenga: ukwelacala! Me: masiye kuye. Bendifuna andibuze, ndicacise or should I say ndixoke then sidlule kulonto, ndizophelelwa lixhala. Nyani sithe singena nje e sitting room wandiganga umama. Mom: ubingathanga ubuya ngomso na? Me: ewe, qha kuye kwakho indawo ekufanele aye kuyo la tishala so wacela uxolo kuba ngomso engazubakho . Mom: nifundile phofu? Me: ewe yho u good sana mama vha. Mom: Kubhetele ke. Cwenga: yho uviwe ke mama, ndithe undiphathele ntoni? Me: nex, mntase, nzakuthengela ngomso vha. Cwenga: ok ke! Sahlala apho umama encokola, bendingayiva ncam nalento ayithethayo. Bendingeka bi right man but bendizixelele uba soze u Monday afike ndinje, ndikwi matric kaloku and ndilungiselela ubhala so ingqondo funeka ingaphazamiseki. Sayolala pha ngo 10 ebusuku, ndafika ndine nqaba ye missed calls ne Sms zika Bonga nenye ayibhale nge number ka mha, ndafunda yona yodwa. uyabona jengoba ubalekele kweye indoda nje dizo fowunela umamakho dixelele uba ulapa kum futhi ndinabo ubuqina bale bhegi yako, dabona uciga umbadlile wena Bendiyazi uba iyazibhudela nje lo and even if uyenzile lonto I dont give a damn, lizovumbulula ngeloxesha iqhinga soze ndoyiswe lilo noba kungathwani mntakabhuti. Ndabona uba mandi fowunele u angel just to take my mind off things. Even though I was treated badly by a guy I didnt take my anger kuwo onke amadoda. Inye indoda endiyicaphukelayo ngu Bonga qha abanye khange bandenze nto so bendingena nto kubo. I know many victims of rape baye bacaphukele kwa ndoda but why? Abamoshanga bonke nje, and there are still good guys out there. Abafana abangasoze babethe intombi noba kungathwani and I take this moment and bow down for them. #viwe I know incinci, I didnt have enough time to write.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:04:54 +0000
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