5. Take care of this moment. “I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.” The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting. Why? Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on this moment and perform better. Have a look at 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment for tips on how quickly step into the now. And remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment. 6. Everyone is human. “I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and toretrace my steps.” “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be remindedthat the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnectedfrom them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people tounreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you. It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the pretty useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. Andinstead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again. 7. Persist. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” Be persistent. In time the opposition around you will fade and fall away. And your inner resistance and self- sabotaging tendencies that want to hold you back and keep you like you have always been will grow weaker. Find what you really like to do. Then you’ll find the inner motivation to keepgoing, going and going. You can also find a lot of useful tips on how keep your motivation up in How to Get Out of a Motivational Slump and 25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself . One reason Gandhi was so successful with his method of non-violence wasbecause he and his followers were so persistent. They just didn’t give up. Success or victory will seldom come as quickly as you would have liked it to. Ithink one of the reasons people don’t get what they want is simply because they give up too soon. The time they think an achievement will require isn’t the same amount of time it usually takes to achieve that goal. This faulty belief partly comes from the world welive in. A world full of magic pill solutions where advertising continually promises us that we can lose a lot of weight or earn a ton of money in just 30 days. You can read more about this in One Big Mistake a Whole Lot of People Make. Finally, one useful tip to keep your persistence going is to listen to Gandhi’s third quote in this article and keep a sense of humor. It can lighten things up at the toughest of times. 8. See the good in people and help them. “I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.” “Man becomes great exactly in thedegree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.” “I suppose leadership at one time meantmuscles; but today it means getting along with people.”There is pretty much always something good in people. And things that may not be so good. But you can choose what things to focus on. And if you want improvement then focusing on the good in people is a useful choice. It also makes life easier for you as your world and relationships become more pleasant and positive. And when you see the good in people itbecomes easier to motivate yourself to be of service to them. By being of service to other people, by giving them value you not only make their lives better. Over time you tend to get what you give. And the people you help may feel more inclined to help other people. And so you, together, create an upward spiral of positive change that grows and becomes stronger. By strengthening your social skills you can become a more influential person and make this upward spiral evenstronger. A few articles that may provide you with useful advice in that department are Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation? and DaleCarnegie’s Top 10 Tips for Improving Your Social Skills . Or you can just move on to the next tip. 9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” “Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.” I think that one of the best tips for improving your social skills is to behave in a congruent manner and communicate in an authentic way. People seem to really like authentic communication. And there is much inner enjoyment to be found when your thoughts, words and actions are aligned. You feel powerful and good about yourself . When words and thoughts are aligned then that shows through in your communication. Because now you have your voice tonality and body language – some say they are over 90 percent of communication – in alignment with your words. With these channels in alignment people tend to really listen to what you’re saying. You are communicating without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness. Also, if your actions aren’t in alignment with what you’re communicating then you start to hurt your own belief in what you can do. And other people’s belief in you too. 10. Continue to grow and evolve. ”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.” You can pretty much always improve your skills, habits or re-evaluate your evaluations. You can gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world. Sure, you may look inconsistent or like you don’t know what you are doing from time to time. You may have trouble to act congruently or to communicate authentically. But if you don’t then you will, as Gandhi says, drive yourself into a false position. A place where you try to uphold or cling to your old views to appear consistent while you realise within that something is wrong. It’s not a fun place to be. To choose to grow and evolve is a happier and more useful path to take.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 05:38:09 +0000
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