6 February 2014 Dear Dr Codyre I am grateful for the opportunity - TopicsExpress



          

6 February 2014 Dear Dr Codyre I am grateful for the opportunity to meet with you on 25 February. I am a 45-year-old mother of two children (Jessica, aged 12, and Alexander, aged 7) who was a lawyer for 17 years, including 8 years at New Zealand’s top law firm, Chapman Tripp. I was formally diagnosed with “Bi Polar” disorder three years ago. My brother (aged 43) was diagnosed 14 years ago. I have had seven psychiatric hospital admissions since April 2010 and managed to narrowly avoid another one several weeks ago while I was staying at a Respite Care facility operated by “Connect – Supporting Recovery”. I was staying in Respite at the suggestion of my Community Support Worker, Annette Maddock, who noticed that I seemed “burnt out” after a busy and rather stressful Christmas and New Year. My ex-husband, David Linklater, telephoned the Waitemata District Health Board during my stay to complain about material I was posting up on Facebook. He has done this several times before. When I was locked up in Whangarei Hospital three years ago, I was not allowed any “leave” until I de-activated my Facebook account. When I am relatively “quiet” on Facebook, I am left alone. But as soon as I increase my writing, I am “harassed”. The nature of my Facebook writing is as follows: 1. Seditious political writing. I do not like the Government of New Zealand or the Governments of the World. I am a follower of “activists” like Russell Brand, David Icke and Alex Jones (to name a few). I post up Youtube clips, songs and comments which support my view that there should be a Revolution. 2. Spiritual writing: I am a student of Non-Duality, also known as “Advaita Vedanta”. I have 1350 Facebook friends of which all but a “hand-full” have a similar interest in Spirituality. The “feedback” I receive from my “friends” in the form of “likes” and comments continually confirms to me that they understand my posts on this subject. I would not expect those who are unfamiliar with Non-Duality or Spirituality generally to understand these aspects of my writing. But, I am not writing for their benefit. 3. Exposing the WDHB: When I was a compulsory inpatient I wrote continuous contemporaneous filenotes and complaint letters (which were never acknowledged) recording everything I observed that I considered to be in breach of the Bill of Rights Act and other relevant Human Rights legislation. I handed them in to staff so they could be put on my medical file. I post them up on Facebook in the form of “notes” and uploaded Word documents. 4. Cathartic writing: I express my anger through Facebook. As part of this, I assume the persona of a character called “Wrath” and imagine extreme “punishments” for those I am angry with. “Wrath” is the name I have given to my “angry teenager”. “She” has, in the recent past, had a tendency to express “herself” in face-to-face interactions with others or in private correspondence (in the form of anger letters which were sent to those concerned). However, nowadays, “Wrath” only expresses “herself” on Facebook. I have found that writing is the safest (from an emotional and psychological point of view) and most effective way for me to express anger without frightening myself or others. Unfortunately, writing letters and then burning or burying them does not work for me. I either have to send them or post them on Facebook where I know that at least one person will read them. Many of my friends on Facebook have confirmed that they are happy to provide this sort of support and, more often than not, I receive empathetic feedback confirming that I have been heard and understood. 5. Creative writing: I’m writing novels through Facebook and about Facebook. I’m currently working on my fifth book. I have not had any of them published yet as I want to publish the first four in a series and I still have much to do on the editing/production side. I am a former journalist and my legal writing has been published and awarded prizes. I am a good writer and everyone who has read my writing has told me that they think my books will be “best sellers”. I hope that is true but I’m not particularly concerned. At the moment, I’m just enjoying the “mastery” that I feel when I write. The books are actually for my daughter. I don’t care if nobody else other than her sees the finished product. As part of this creative writing, I take the perspective of other characters who I sometimes name but it is usually obvious to those familiar with my work who they are (because of the quite distinctive different tones/styles used). In particular, I adopt the perspective of “God” in the form of “Christ”, “Grace”, “Jehovah God” and “The Immaculate Supreme Brahman Absolute”. There are numerous people who have written or otherwise expressed themselves from the point of view of “The Divine”. Neale Donald Walshe is the author of the books “Conversations with God” which have sold millions of copies world-wide. Jack Miles has written an amazing book called “GOD – A Biography”. I have shelves full of books written by Spiritual Teachers stating that they are GOD. One of my favourite comedians, Bo Burnham, has a comic song called “From the Perspective of God” (pasted below). “Non-Dual Awareness” is the “realisation” that there is no separation between the self and THE SELF. In other words, there is only GOD here. My creative writing is understood by my Facebook friends within this context. Many of them write from a similar perspective, although they don’t tend to have a number of different “characters” (but then, they’re not working on novels like I am). 6. “Normal, everyday stuff”: I post up the same sorts of things that “ordinary” people do such as jokes, cute photos of beautiful scenery/animals, stories about what I’ve been doing that day etc. So, anyone having a decent look at my page ought to be able to see that it is a mixture of the above. They can, like my ex-husband, choose to focus on some of the more disturbing writings (I accept that some of them are quite disturbing where, like most artists, I’m deliberately pushing the boundaries of what is generally considered to be “socially acceptable”) or they can see the work as a whole (which is how I see it). I intend to publish the entire six year’s worth of posts in a separate series (there is too much material to go in one) of books. In the meantime, I will be choosing extracts from my Facebook posts to put into my first four books and the one I’m working on now. The friends who are regular followers of my work have been reading my posts for between 3-6 years. The reason that I have explained myself to you in such detail is because I am now clearly in a position where I will not have unrestricted, unsupervised access to my children unless I either stop writing on Facebook or I find an expert, such as yourself, who can confirm that my writing is my Free Expression and that the only behaviour which is relevant to assessing my mental state is my interactions in the actual (as opposed to “virtual”) world. I don’t think it is fair to judge my thought processes or beliefs based on my writing. It is imaginative. It is creative. I do not hold onto any beliefs. I just express in writing whatever ideas I have at any particular time. I do not censor them. I don’t think I should have to. I do censor myself around others though. The same as every other “sane” person does. In my opinion, I shouldn’t have to show you my writing on Facebook for you to come to the above conclusion. Because, it is irrelevant to the question of whether I am a “fit” mother and whether I am safe to remain in the community with my independence/autonomy/freedom of choice intact. However, if you wish to view my page, you are welcome to do so. The name I use on Facebook is “Elizabeth Jane Baird” which is my registered name. However, I go by the name “Lisa Jane Cunningham” in “real life”. Only my facebook friends (1340 of whom are overseas) know my registered name. I do not even use the name for bank accounts or on my driver’s licence. And I don’t currently hold a passport. My page is open, as are two of my group pages called “The Supporters of THE NUTTERS” and “THE WALL”. I have pasted below the foreword of my first four books and an explanation of the name for the series: “Where does one draw the line between Fantasy and Reality? Is there any line at all? Is reality (ie what is experienced by the senses) created by the imagination? Is anything REAL, or are we all simply imagining ourselves? What is causality? Do we truly have free will? These ideas are explored in the pages of this series Store High In Timber - or SHIT for short. What happens when a writer crosses over from the books are about my life to my life is about the books? Is there any way back? And what are the risks of the writer choosing to live her life (if there is such a thing as choice) so that her stories can one day be included in a book - for the entertainment and titillation of the readers? Do others in relationship with her become like mere pawns in a cruel game? Does she become a pawn in her own game? I have said so many times I suffer for my art but who else suffers along with me? Should anyone else - anyone at all - suffer for MY art? And, at the end of the day, is any of it truly authentic? Or... is it ALL complete (bull)SHIT?” “SHIT really is the acronym for Store High in Timber. That is where the word came from. Back in the olden days wooden ships used to carry bags of manure in the bottom of the holds until they discovered that the methane gas generated by the manure caused explosions in the hold and destroyed the other cargo and sometimes the ship. So, they started stamping Store High in Timber on the outside of the bags so that they would be put at the top of the stow and, thereby, airated. Ideas of having to handle with care, the potential for explosions and carnage etc are so appropriate in the context of my books. And, I used to be a maritime lawyer where I dealt with lots of cargo destruction cases so I like that aspect of it too.”
Posted on: Thu, 06 Feb 2014 02:08:52 +0000

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