#6103 Since I was a little kid my father has and still does abuse me. Id be hit and yelled at for not doing anything wrong when I got to my teens my father was the cause of 4 of the 5 trips to the hospital due to broken fingers. Junior year of hs he wanted to get into it with me and he ended up getting hurt and had to go to the hospital at which point he told the doctor that I started the fight. Since then I try and keep my distance but since I still live at home and commute I have to see him a lot. He degrades me and tells me what a nothing I will become. I have a 3.3 GPA and have gotten jobs at which people tell me that I have exceeded expectations of others. My mom is the one that cares about me and trys to help me and he just does the same thing to her. The only reason I havent moved out yet is because of her and I worry about what would happen to her if I left. I have thought about killing myself too many times to count, but you wouldnt think that any of this happens by my happy go lucky attitude that people see. Ive wanted a gf for so long but my ultimate fear is not rejection but of being called or thought of as a loser by her. If they didnt think of me like that my next worst fear is them having to eventually one day meeting the family and I never want them to meet my father! No one knows this happens not even the people I was closest with during the summer. Sorry this is a downer one and not the latest gossip or a scandal yall love, just wanted someone/anyone know and not keep it bottled up.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:31:14 +0000
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