7 Day Vulnerability Challenge: Day 3- Let me preface todays audacious act of vulnerability by saying that I truly believe that we can learn more from one vulnerability encounter gone bad than we can from many vulnerability encounters that have gone well. This is not Pollyanna thinking, over- simplified silver-lining stuff I am blowing your way. I know this from personal experience and today was such a day. My act of vulnerability was to speak up in a group of about 30 women today that I had a difference of opinion with a main point of discussion in my bible study group. You can imagine all the potentially shaming experiences that can surface when it comes to religion. The reason speaking up and sharing MY truth felt vulnerable is because it was a huge risk for me that others would disagree or lead me to believe I am wrong in my thinking. Another words- total disconnection. Fear of isolation. And that is a big fear for me because I am hyper-relational and connection is a value I hold deeply. Well... My sharing didnt go so well for me. I didnt get support in the way of comments from others stating they appreciated my sharing my differing point if view. Instead, others chimed in with more of the same opinion and perspective that was originally put out there by the bible study author. By no means do I think anyone in the room intended to inflict shame me. But, my experience of that encounter felt like a kick to the gut. I felt small, unimportant and insignificant. I went out on a limb and was left to hang. Alone. This initially and instinctually turned to anger. How dare they! In reality, I felt deeply hurt. It took me a few moments to recognize the anger was my shield. It is much easier for me to feel and express anger than it is to feel and express hurt and disappointment. Thankfully, because of the work I have been doing learning and living the practices of vulnerability, courage, compassion and connection that I gained from the Daring Way training- a light of awareness broke through the darkness I was feeling. I have reached a level of shame resilience! This incident did not take me down. In fact, (after a little time passed) I was able to see the lessons and appreciate the uncomfortable feelings as evidence that I am brave. I have no regrets. I wouldnt do anything differently. And, despite the initial blow, I feel stronger and more resolved than ever. What about you? What has been your experience doing your own vulnerability challenge? Id love to hear!
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 22:21:44 +0000
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