7 Stages of Aging on Horseback Stage 1: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat. Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horses neck. Ride until sunset. Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two co codamol and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day. State 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to accident and emergency clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off. Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay. Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humour when hunky paramedic says, You again? Gain first-hand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isnt that noticeable. Promise husband youll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse. Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you dont see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.
Posted on: Wed, 27 Nov 2013 13:29:22 +0000
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