*8* That very same night I got to room and cried because lord knows what he wanted to do to me or what he could have done or what he is yet to do. I stayed up all night thinking and wondering what the heck he wanted from me cause unomamam mos kum ufuna nton ngk?! Well kwasa ndicingana nezonto. I felt like I should have asked him why he did such but I didnt instead I called my mom. Me: mama Mom : Entle yinton My voice was shaking ndandifuna ulila qha ndiphinde ndizbuze ba nzothi ndililela nton? And I couldnt lie to her cause my mom knew me very well so I changed my tone Me : ubuya nini? Mom : namhlanje late mntanam,yonke into iryt? Me : ewe qha bendikucinga Mom : okay bhabha ,ndiya emsebenzini sizothetha xa ndilapho Me : okay ma, bye Mom : love you Me : love you too I prepared for school , I didnt eat, I didnt talk to him ndamjonga nje andacela nalo mali yokhwela ndaphuma ngomnyango ndaya eskolweni. Got to school I was not in the mood for anybody that day, ndandiphoxa kwamntu even my own friends and my bf of that matter. Period zazitsala nje ngalamini , I felt so annoyed I was so irritated and so pissed! But my day ended eventually, ndagoduka got home mama ehli noMark kwakumnandi sana kuhlekwa nohlekwa . Ndabulisa ndaya erumini yam ndakhulula and my mom shouting my name so ndayosabela. Mom : we ordering take aways funa nton wena? Me : anything is fine by me Mark : ohh this one has been having funny attitudes lately Mom : talk to her I looked at him and all I said was heeee and I shock my head ndaya erumini. Few minutes later I get called to come eat ndaya ke sahlala satya. Mark ebalisela umama ba bekunjan ngk engekho, he said stuff like we had fun mna naye,his brother was here qha khange ahlale and he gave money when I asked for it and etc. But he never mentioned the party,the different girls he had in her bed and the guys who lived wth us for almost a week! But ndathula ndamjonga nje. Time went on,and mama went back to p.e and my dad would come give me cash,fetch me from school take me out weekends and Id sleep at vincent for the weekends and wed go shopping. While Mark at home continued esenza into zakh ezfunny but this one day, we came into my room ndinxiba again. But this time wabe etsala tsala itowel I kept saying no but he didnt stop. Then only when I started crying he stopped and laughed. Mark : what now? I was only playing dont get serious now (nigerian accent) Me : can you please get out I want to get dressed! Waphuma ndanxiba ndaya eparkini cause I just couldnt spend the whole day with him in that house cause into azoyenza kundidlwengula qha ngk! I really wanted to tell someone about it but I didnt know who cause mama was gonna think Im trying to ruin her happiness cause andimthandi uMark or she was gonna think ndine issues. My dad on the other hand was not really close to me ba ndingade ndimxelele lonto so I kept it to myself imane inditya and I kept crying myself to sleep day in and day out. Id go to school and pretend as if my life is perfect ,Id laugh with my friends,make jokes,chill with my boo and do all kinda crazy stuff. But when I get home Id sulk,cry and be a totally different person so I decided to write poems as a way of expressing my feelings and the first poem I could remember writing was ....
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 18:31:11 +0000
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