9 Practical Tips for Avoiding Ebola that the CDC Wont Tell You: 1. Do not lick the open wounds of anyone with Ebola. In fact, until this crisis has passed, it is best to refrain from licking open wounds altogether. 2. When serving a person with full-blown Ebola in a public place, such as a restaurant or coffee shop, offer a complimentary travel size bottle of hand sanitizer. 3. If attending multiple funerals of Ebola victims per day, be sure to wash your hands between services. 4. Do not use Ebola as a spice or artificial sweetener. 5. When traveling by bus, train, airplane, ferry or cruise ship, refrain from breathing. 6. Look into the Tyvek On the Town line of formal hazmat suits for weddings and other special occasions. 7. Despite what you may have read, human sacrifice will not prevent the spread of Ebola ... unless, of course, the person being sacrificed has Ebola. 8. Remember, Ebola is not airborne. Therefore, allowing an Ebola victim to sneeze in your mouth is not only perfectly safe, but a sign of trust. 9. Dont believe the conspiracy theories. Ebola is not part of some Illuminati plan to curb and control world population. It was, however, created by reptilian aliens bent on conquering Earth. Offer to serve our new lizard overlords, and they will provide you with the antidote.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 00:26:26 +0000
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