A Few Thought for Today Life continues to be an unending source of amusement. As you all know, I work with the community related to capitol improvement projects and city policy. Before this I was a code compliance inspector, and before that a crime prevention specialist. As you can imagine, I get to hear from folks who are a bit stressed at times. Unlike the private sector, we do not have a choice of serving someone or not, we’re pretty much stuck with everyone, and I guess they’re stuck with us. Now, for the most part, I have to say that the majority of people we deal with are quite pleasant and reasonable, about 99% of them. Most just want the facts, to give some input, and to know how a project or policy will affect them personally. They make adjustments, move on with their lives, and leave us to get on with our work. About 10% of the people we deal with are helpful, thoughtful and offer useful and needed information. Then there is the 1%. This is not the 1% we hear so much about from the protester who wreck my commute. Members of this 1% can be members of that other 1%, but not necessarily. Its membership comes from all economic classes, education levels and ethnic groups. This 1% can not be pigeon-holed, and is very difficult to pinpoint prior to personal interaction. It’s kind of like a jack-in-the-box. Things are going along well, and then POW he is in the middle of everything demanding your attention. The 1% will take up a lot of time, have unending questions and complaints. They will feel personally attacked, and be very vocal. For the most part the 1% can be dealt with by taking extra time to address their concerns, education them on policy, process, and regulation. They may not like it, but they usually get to the point where they accept that it needs to be done. Then there is the 1% of the 1%. They represent the antithesis of The Three Monkeys, see no evil, heard no evil and speak no evil. This group sees plots within plots, hears things that aren’t being said or intended, and speaks bile to anyone they can get to listen. This person will be convinced that The City is plotting to ruin them. Yes, we have picked this person out of a half million people in the city to target, because we have that much time on our hands. Rather than acknowledge that repair work needs to be done, and that we (The City) must meet state and federal requirements, this person is convinced that they are extra special, and that we (The City) are out to get them. In general the double one-percenter is a contradiction on many levels. They will say things like, “Well, I guess I just have to take it, you’re going to do whatever you want anyway.” Or, “It doesn’t matter to you because you don’t have to live with it.” Often times these are said with expletives added, and in very loud voices. Then of course they go on to threaten all manner of actions. They’re going to call their good friend the commissioner, or mayor, or local reporter. Then the double one-percenter gets really serious and threatens to hire an attorney and sue us. Blah, blah-blah-blah, blah. Then you have the 1% of the 1% of the 1%, the triple one-percenters, or as I like to call them… the wack-a-doodles. By the time you get the population pared down to these characters we have a truly disturbed and equally entertaining group, not mention possible Darwin award winners. From this group you can expect personal slurs to be hurled, veiled and not-so-veiled physical threats, and retaliatory damage to equipment and property. There may also be spitting involved, on their part. About 3 or 4 times a year my co-workers and I run into a triple one-percenter. This means we have to personally deal with one about every two years. My co-workers and I know there really isn’t much we can do with them, so we have started a list of the things we would like to be able to do: 1. Fill out a change of address packet for them with the Post Office showing that they have moved to North Korea. If they think they have no control here, how are they going to like it there? 2. Send them a pair of rose colored glasses to give them an improved view of the world. These folks are always the glass’s half empty sort. 3. Set up a webpage for wack-a-doodles and put them at the top of the list. 4. Send the prunes and persimmons, and them suck on them. 5. Send them a chill pill, or suppository. Better yet make that it a high powered dart we shot into their backsides. 6. Shrink wrap their cars and home, to contain the spread of the madness. 7. Get them a membership to the Optimist Club. Maybe they will learn to see the silver linings. 8. Send a box of precut aluminum foil squares for hats. It helps block the evil thought rays the aliens are sending into their brains. 9. Send the mental health evaluators over to access their condition. 10. Put up posters around the neighborhood with “RADID” written under it. After all, if their neighbors don’t know, we really should warn them.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Jun 2013 22:10:07 +0000
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