A MUST READ FOR ALL MEN: Lifes Demerit System In the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY! Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You dont get any points for doing something she expects. SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Jack Daniels. (-5) PROTECTIVE DUTIES You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10) Its her pet Schnauzer. (-20) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) Named Angie (-10) Angie is a dancer. (-10) Angie has breast implants. (-40) HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner. (+2) You take her out to dinner, and its not a sports bar. (+3) Okay, its a sports bar. (-2) And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3) Its a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie. (+1) You take her to a movie she likes. (+5) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) Its called Death Cop. (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say, It doesnt matter, you have one too. (-80) (Bad, bad answer!) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, Do I look fat? (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what!) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, Where? (-35) You give any other response. (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000) Patrick Cox Fred Carbis Rick Patrilla, Todd Parker
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 11:58:50 +0000
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