A Message from Chief Spencer Birney To the Yale Community: The Yale Task force received a report today that a half naked Irish student of slender build has been seen eating random objects on Old Campus, Sunday night, January 25. The reported perpetrator is a Yale College student, who will remain anymous.............you know what, screw it, everyone knows its probably Paddy Gavin. I mean, who else? It seems that Paddy is suffering from a severe case of lost his marbles, which doctors attribute to over-consumption of wild squirrel, and an unhealthy DS study routine. Paddy has taken to hiding in the underbrush near Vanderbilt Hall and is frequently heard muttering I am a bearded peacock, or I am Dean Muller, here me roar (cue a nasal squeak hidden behind half a giggle). Please keep a distance from all shrubbery on Old Campus, and if you do happen upon Paddy, please kindly remind him that he is neither a bearded peacock nor Dean Muller. The Task Force is doing everything it can to resolve this issue as soon as possible. In the meantime we ask that you please refrain from throwing potatoes at Paddy as he chases a squirrel or gnaws on a piece of bark. He may bight. If you have any injuries, sightings, or weird Facebook statuses impersonating Dean Muller to report, please call 203-606-1389.
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 07:06:56 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015