A POIGNANT RETURN AFTER RECITING MUHARRAM MAJALISES Have we arrived home, Shyrose???!!! my elderly mother asked after suddenly waking up from her sleep and finding that the plane had landed. I heard her words and tears filled my eyes. I turned my head away so that she couldnt see me crying and I just sobbed and sobbed into my hands. These were not tears of relief for having returned home. There were tears for my Bibi Zaynab (a.s) who heard the same words from her devoted kaneez Fiza, fizza ne zainab se kaha, bibi madina aagaya ab khatm hai apna safar, aata hai ab mujko nazar I thought of my dear bibi (a.s) and spoke to her with my heart. Bibi, how utterly broken your heart must have been to see your home!! No Aun, no Mohamed, no Ali Akbar, no Abbas, no Hussein. What a devastation of a home that was once full of the members of the Holy household of the Prophet (saww) You returned to not only an empty home but with physical and emotional scars and trauma that would haunt you forever. I looked down at my hands that were peeling from the heat rashes I got from the heat in Reunion Island. My delicate skin,accustomed to North American weather, had ripped and was bleeding in places. My whole body was aching as I had travelled 2 days by plane with hours of waiting at airports in between. And I thought of my delicate princess, Shehzade Zainab (a.s) Sunshine had never shone on her face, she had been sheltered in the safety of her home, protected by her brothers. She had never had to walk--and was subjected to walking for days and days in the blistering sun. She had been whipped, slapped, mocked and had stones thrown at her. She had helped women onto the camels, carried children, lifted Sayyede Sajjad (a.s) from the burning tents. Oh, my bibi I cried silently. How did you find the strength? No one even gave you condolences! How will you now return to your empty home and find the lonely prayer mats of your 2 sons that will never be used now.... I thought of my own children waiting impatiently at home for me. I thought of the gifts I have brought them so that they can feel a bit appeased at having been left for so many days without my cooking, my hugs, my help with homework etc. oh my bibi, I sobbed. What gifts did you bring when you returned? The bloody clothes of your martyred brother Hussein (a.s) to lay on the grave of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w)?! What did you show your mother as you gave her condolences? your scarred wrists where the ropes had made them bleed? It took all my strength to recover myself, gather our belongings and get us off that plane. I realized that we human beings and our sacrifices are nothing compared to what the Ahlul Bayt (a.s) have done for us. We are minuscule, our bodies are weak and our efforts are so very little. And yet, they bless us and are grateful for whatever we do in their name. It is an honour to be a Zakir of the Ahlulbayt (a.s) No matter how difficult it can sometimes be, the rewards are always so very great. But do you know what makes us able to do what we do? The locals of the community that we visit each year. These community members host us, feed us, carry our purses for us and kiss us with love. This is not to give us a sense of pride. It is to give us strength and motivation to continue--for we are weak and very delicate--physically and emotionally. I am forever indebted to all those who have hosted me over the years and who have invited me to dinner, given me gifts and souvenirs, taken me to see the city or to shop. These efforts have made the community memorable for me--how can you forget a city when the people living there have made your time there so special for you? We who recite the musibat suffered by the Holy Household (a.s) suffer greatly inside. It is extremely draining and very painful to narrate these events. Believe me, it requires a great discipline to cry on the mimbar and yet not get shattered completely. Sometimes, we have to avoid listening to latmiyya or marsiya because it can melt our hearts so much that we cannot begin the lecture. The 12 days of Muharram are not just physically draining but emotionally draining. There is a deep sadness within, whether we smile or appear laughing. This is the gift that the Ahlulbayt (a.s) give to us. A prevailing sense of the sacrifices they gave so that we can never ever forget. Grief is such a personal thing that it is dangerous to assume that a calm daughter sitting at her fathers funeral does not love him. She may not be crying hysterically but only she knows how much she will cry for him when we all leave that home. Never assume anything about anyone--especially when it comes to the azadari of Imam Hussein (a.s) Some people shed blood with zanjeer. Some cry in the privacy of their homes-with not one witness. Each has their own way of showing respect and love to the Ahlulbayt (a.s) and each will be acknowledged by those who it is meant for. Why do people take the visiting Zakireen during the month of Muharram sightseeing or invite them for dinner at their homes? Because it is a gesture of love towards the Ahlulbayt (a.s) It is a way of honouring those who have left their homes and travelled far to share some teachings of the 14 Masumeen (a.s) Women, especially, can often only show their love and appreciation through their cooking. Thus they cook beautiful meals and fateha is recited to make it a blessed meal for those alive and those who are departed. We Zakireen who are invited, often go to please those simple ladies who have nothing to offer but their cooking and their humble homes as a place of rest. Sometimes we are invited to huge mansions with elaborate meals--and the thought that goes through the mind is subhanallah, even those who are so rich love Imam (a.s) so much!!! These wealthy people become an example to the world that it might appear that they are proud etc--but for the love of Imam Hussein (a.s) they will open their homes to people and humbly kiss the hands of those who recited the Dhikr of Imam (a.s). In honoring these invitations, we help spread a different kind of message too. Many invite not only us Zakireen but also include 20 or 30 others so that we can all get to know each other better. This helps us speak to people and become acquainted with their personal struggles. Often we discuss hijab or khums or charity--and hearts are changed and lives are altered. Sightseeing helps us to understand where our community members live and in a place like Reunion Island it helps us to truly appreciate the wonders and creations of Allah swt. Often, we shop not for the sake of shopping but to return to our homes with small gifts for our children who have given their own sacrifice in letting us travel so far in the month of Muharram. There was a time when I didnt understand why the visiting Zakira or Mualana would be taken to Niagara Falls or for shopping etc. My parents would frequently undertake these trips for the Zakireen and I used to ask why they are doing this in the month of Muharram, a month dedicated to mourning. Today, when those same zakireen meet me around the world and ask about my marhoom father and pray for him and tell me what an ehsaan he did, I understand. Bibi Zaynab (a.s) knows how we mere mortals can become demotivated, exhausted and even drained. She sends these helpers of hers, these people of the various communities we visit, to give us respite. She sends them to feed us, take us out into the open breeze, spend time with us and to express love to us. And we feel ready to face another day. And suddenly our exhaustion is totally gone. And we realize Bibi (a.s) has been with us all along and doing everything possible to pave the way.
Posted on: Sat, 23 Nov 2013 17:38:13 +0000
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