A beautiful reminder that our stories are important. Secrets draw their power from shame. I convince myself that I am too messed-up, too tainted, or too tarnished for others to accept. Or maybe people will think I am a fraud. As I believe these lies, shame grows into fear, which is almost always at some level, fear that if others truly know me, they wont love me. Or at least love me as much or in the same way. In order to release my secrets, I must uncurl my white-knuckled fingers from deep desires: My desire to be perfect.My desire to be liked.My desire to be in control.My desire to be successful. Without releasing these desires, shame will keep my secrets locked up and convince me they can never be disclosed. It forces me to forge masks for myself and hide under them. Whether one faces an eating disorder, a marriage failure, insecurities and inadequacies, or just something done that they dont feel free enough to share with others, shame can trap us in the mire of our secrets and steal from us the gift of openness with those we love. Shame keeps us from telling our own stories and prevents us from listening to others tell their stories, says Brené Brown. We silence our voices and keep our secrets out of the fear of disconnection. In the end, shame steals the very thing it promises: meaningful, authentic connections with others. Pursuing a life of honesty means to reveal who I truly am and assert that my story too belongs at the table. As I took off my mask and wept with my friends that evening, I sensed there was an unseen guest in my midst. In the swirling cocktail of healing, grief, shared love, compassion, and prayer, God was present. Standing. Observing. And maybe even cheering. Jonathan Merritt.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 04:01:59 +0000
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