A conversation between a Muslim boy and his Senator grandfather in bin Laden City, U.S.A. in the year 2050 Tell me, dear grandfather, in the name of all powerful and all knowing Allah, how could it be that the great Shaitan, the United States of America, was humbled and brought to total defeat by the Faithful? My dear grandson, pride of my life, son of Allah on whom all praise be bestowed, it came about in this way. It came to pass that the country of the United States of America waxed great and became the richest country in the world, far richer than any other country. And Allah, the merciful and just , saw that it was unjust that one country should be so rich while other countries remained poor, so he called on the faithful to commence a Holy Jihad to bring down the Shaitan to the same level of poverty as the rest of the world, for Allah (who is all-knowing), knew full well that the people of the poor countries would never be able to equal the riches of the Shaitan. And in his wisdom, Allah, may his name be glorified until the end of all things, also saw that the armies of the poor countries could never vanquish the armies of the mighty Shaitan, and that there must be another way, so he sent his Jinns to all corners of the earth to determine the best way for a weak army to conquer a stronger opponent. One by one the Jinns returned, and reported that they had found no way in which a weak combatant could vanquish a stronger. But at last there came an Jinn named Gonzalez ibn Perez, who came from a country called Spain, and who reported as follows: "Oh almighty and all-knowing and all-seeing Allah! Praise be on your head. I, your humble Jinn called Gonzalez ibn Perez, in obedience to your command, have travelled far and have found that the Spanish people have discovered a way that a weak combatant could vanquish a stronger without suffering harm. This is in the bull fight, in which a man is pitted against a bull which is many times his weight and strength. The man commences by teasing the bull and making it run several times across the arena, without himself moving at all. Once the bull is beginning to breath heavily, the man approaches it and without warning drives into its shoulder a pair of banderillas, which are sharp pointed barbed javelins. This enrages the bull, which charges him to kill him, but the man deceives the bull with his cape, and it fails to reach him, touching only the cape, which is an immaterial thing which it cannot wound. Another stab from the man, another attack, and another failure, for the man is unhurt, and the bull is wounded and rapidly exhausting its resources. Thus, the bull depletes its strength by attempting to destroy an enemy which it can never find, while at the same time that enemy continues to enrage it with his banderillas. In the end, the man has moved little during the contest and is still quite fresh, whereas the bull is totally exhausted by loss of blood and strength, and is easily killed by the stroke of a sword. This is my report to you, Oh, Allah all knowing, all seeing, all merciful. On your name be glory." When Allah , glory to His name, heard this report, he called to the armies of the Faithful, and declared the Holy War on the Shaitan, in the manner of the bullfight. It was thus, Oh my grandson, that the first blow was struck by the destruction of two of the mightiest towers in the country of the Great Shaitan, and in retaliation the forces of Shaitan and its allies were directed savagely against one of the countries of the Faithful. Many bombs were showered on the people of that country, many towns and houses destroyed, but even after many months, the leaders of the Jihad were not to be found, in spite of all the efforts of Shaitan, who spent a large portion of his national treasure in this way. Then, while the armies of Shaitan were still searching or the leaders of the Jihad, another blow was struck and a great city of the Shaitan was destroyed by the long arm of the Jihad. The great Shaitan was even more enraged, and sent out even more of his armies to wreak havoc in the poor countries, but the poor counties were so poor that they could not be made much poorer. Their people had always been hungry, so they saw no difference. But the Great Shaitan was still burning vast quantities of his national treasure without destroying the leaders of the Jihad. This went on for ten years, fifteen years, twenty years, and still the leaders of the Jihad were not found by the armies of the Great Shaitan, the heroes of the Faithful struck again and again at his cities, and his treasures were so depleted that he had to increase the taxes in order to pay for the war he was waging on the poor countries, without gaining any victory. And so it went on, and the people of the Great Shaitan were taxed more and more, and more and more of their cities were destroyed, until the they grew tired of paying ever higher taxes, and of losing their sons and husbands in a war which achieved nothing, and they rose up against the Great Shaitan, and there was a great revolution and much fighting and destruction, and after fifty years, the will of Allah triumphed, and the United States and its allies was reduced to the same level of poverty as the rest of the world, and all men were equal, (and hungry).
Posted on: Mon, 08 Jul 2013 15:27:09 +0000
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