A married couple should always encourage each other to worship Allah and act according to the Holy Quran and the Sunnah. Abu Huraira related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “May Allah have mercy on a man rises at night to pray and wakes up his wife and they pray two rakats together, Allah will write them amongst the people who remember Allah much.” (Abu Daud) A husband and wife are from different families and may also be from different cultures. They must accept their differences with patience and kindness. If there is something which they dislike they should hide their feelings and avoid offending each other. The best way to act is to treat your partner as you would like them to treat you. A couple should begin their marriage by making the intention to protect each others rights according to the Shariah, to make their family an asset to the Muslim community and to bring up their children as good Muslims. This modern society with its powerful media, uncensored entertainment and uncontrolled immorality holds many dangers for our children. It is very important to maintain Islamic standards at home, and provide a Muslim environment and a good example for our children. May Allah protect us and our wives and our children and guide us on the Straight Path. Ameen. Tips for a Better Husband and Wife Relationship Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage. Examples of Negative Relationship of Husband & Wife Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family. Marriage In The Eyes of Allah It is very sad that this relationship which Allah (SWT) has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be. Allah (SWT) described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: . . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . (Holy Quran 30:21). Do not be a Tyrant Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu Aliyhi Wasallam was reported to have said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi). Be Partners in the Decision Making Process. Follow the principle of Shura, and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them. Never be Emotionally Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet SallAllahu Aliyhi Wasallam never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night? Be Careful of Your Words Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation. Show Affection Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving. Be Your Spouses Friend Show interest in your mates life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each others lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class. Show Appreciation Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet SallAllahu Aliyhi Wasallam was reported to have said: On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband. (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, dont take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated. Work Together in the House The Prophet SallAllahu Aliyhi Wasallam is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet SallAllahu Aliyhi Wasallam was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldnt feel that they are.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 19:00:00 +0000
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