A number of years ago at work my supervisor made the serious mistake of calling me a b***h and saying I was lazy. Trying to stave off a problem, one of the attorneys came into my office and asked me the problem. I told him the problem was not necessarily that she called me a b***h because if that’s what she wanted I could certainly accommodate her! I really took exception to being called “lazy” because that is certainly something I am not. And I told him that she was never to speak to me again. To which he replied that she most certainly would because she was my supervisor. To which I replied, as I got up from my desk, “No, she won’t, and this conversation is over.” I picked up my purse and left and as I was leaving he asked if I was ever coming back. “I don’t know, but not today.” The “big boss” called me at home to ask if I would come in the next morning and talk to him and Alex (my supervisor) and I agreed. I prayed about it (probably more like ranted about it) because I was really angry and I knew that this conversation would not go well on my part. I made a direct contact with the “Dear God” column and came away with an answer I did not want. I wanted Him to tell me how blameless I was, how I hadn’t done anything wrong, how I didn’t deserve to be talked to that way!!!! Yes!!! That’s what I wanted to hear! And I did hear from the Lord, sure as I’m sitting here. I heard Him say, “Say you’re sorry.” “What? Are you nuts? I didn’t do anything wrong!” And again I heard, “Say you’re sorry.” When you ask for an answer to a problem, then you better be willing to accept the advice. This, however, was definitely not the answer I was expecting. The next day I walked (kicking and screaming on the inside all the way) into the boss’ office. Before he even had a chance to speak, before I sat down, I looked at Alex and said, “I’m sorry that any of this ever happened. I would just like for us to forget that these things were said, to never speak of this again, and go back to two days ago, before anything ever happened.” I did not accept any blame in this incident (because I really was innocent) but I was sorry that it had ever happened – I was sorry those things had been said about me. I was sorry there was tension in our office. This was not what they were expecting from me!!!! Sometimes you can catch people off guard. I walked over, hugged her, smiled and left the room. And while we never became great friends, we were able to work well together after that. What fantastic advice. I wanted to blast her. I wanted vindication. I wanted an apology. What I kept was my dignity and what I got was respect. I didn’t let her or the attorney or the boss make me raise my voice. I did not call for her job. I did not demand an apology. What I got was the ability to walk away from a nasty situation with no hard feelings. I went to our “Big Boss” and He gave me very sound advice. “I’m sorry” can be the extension of the olive branch of peace. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are accepting blame (or maybe you are accepting some of the blame) but it does mean that you are truly sorry, whatever the situation, that the problem has transpired. “I’m sorry” can be a complete sentence in and of itself. We can let the other person fill in the blanks. Have a blessed day! You are loved!
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 10:35:16 +0000
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