A passage of my inner demon. I found the breaking point of my existence. I walked between heaven and hell to find me. I walked alone and discarded by my angelic self to find the hate fear and pain that comes with doubt, loneliness and distrust within. I found my own demon would be what I needed to see. To experience and enjoy the deadly gallows of my mind, swinging in the wind with lost souls and crying without knowing why. Then it hit me.... I was never alone. I was held up by others trying to push me out of the dredge of hells fire and out into the light there I can heal and dream again. The pain is still there but the feeling of uselessness is gone. Friends that have showed me the way is waiting, wondering if my heart, mind, body and soul can feel the gratitude of what is there.. They have carried me back into the light. Mistakes we make is a learning phase that we all must go through. It comes with pleasure and pain. We force damnation on our hearts and souls so we can fight it.. Bring it out of the darkness and into the light of who we are inside and out. We all must look outside that provincial box. Kicking it aside and not dwelling onto the hurt, pain and indifference in our life force. We lose by giving up. Not looking at it in different ways or from someone else s point of view can bring us to a non real state of existence. We all must forgive ourselves first and foremost. There is no excuse to be tided to the suffering when we are part of that suffering. Forgiving you has to be the first step. You cannot reason out of it. Logic is not going to do you any good. When one thing goes wrong and created a deep resentment or problem for each other.. Then everyone is the problem.. Forgive and learn from it.. Move on and let it slide. We all are on this world for a very short time. Use this time to love yourself and others as you want to be loved. Stop making excuses that its his or her fault. Both were in this fight. That means both are to share the blame. Dont let what others say convince you to act a certain way about another person.. YOU CAN ONLY BE THE PERSON YOU ARE WITHOUT THE INFLUENCE OF OTHERS TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU OF THINGS THAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS DONE. GET IT STRAIGHT FROM THE PERSON IN QUESTION NOT THE ONE TELLING THE STORY TO FIT THEIR WAY OF THINKING!!! Thank you Charlie for that realization... This one is from Justin Spinelley... Something I have learned from him throughout the years.. When you think that there is no hope and you believe it hard enough. Then it will be what you believe.. When others are telling you that no matter what you believe is your destiny, you can change your destiny by believing in what others tell you about yourself and not the doom and gloom you were meant to believe.. I believe in the power of prayer, friends and family. A quest to survive no matter how bad things are. There are people living in cars, boxes, vacant homes and buildings.. Surviving because they work at surviving.. They have not lost hope and given up. They are still around doing what they can to survive this cruel world. They are winners at it... I am a winner.. I fought the demons and won. I got help when I thought I could not do it alone. I have friends pushing me forward and what family that I do have shall be there no matter what.. I may not be an a donas or have tiger blood in me. But Im pretty close to being what I am meant to be. I am a DAMN GOOD WRITER! Comes from the heart and soul. Covered with pain and confusion, remorse and deep emotion. A word wizard and compassionate soul.. Above all else.... I AM HUMAN.... Think about it.... P.S. Im doing what the docs tell me to do. My blood pressure is now at a safe level along with my 153 sugar level.. Its slowly getting there.. Because i listened and learned.. Thanks to you all for the support you show and I know I love you all. Take care God bless be well and Please do me one favor in your lifetime.. Believe in yourself and take care of each other. A simple hug is the magic key to anyone in need. Peace and Love always Allan K.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 06:44:42 +0000
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