A pregnancy is the beginning of a dream. Whether that pregnancy is 8 weeks long or 40. Whether it results in a baby that lives a long life or a baby that lives for only a few days, weeks or months or even a baby that doesnt live at all. A pregnancy is the beginning of a dream...a dream of life, love, laughter, learning, a dream of togetherness. The end, the death, of a dream is crushing. It is devastating and it is heartbreaking. For a woman, this dream becomes part of her. An essential, intrinsic experience after which she is however much, but irrevocably changed. Sometimes the people around her dont realize or acknowledge this. The woman feels she has been through an entire lifetime and everyone around her feels oblivious. This not only heightens the feeling of confusion and despair but it also makes the grief of her loss even more private. So we have all around us and amongst us, women carrying the secret weight of their past anguish, all these layers and layers of stories...stories of dreams that ended too soon, too abruptly. In my close friends, three women have lost babies. In my immediate family, the number is about the same. The statistics are that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in either miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a newborn before the age of 6 months. Chances are very high that either we have been through this ourselves or know someone who has. Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness Day. It is a day of remembrance for loss that includes early or late term miscarriages, stillbirth, SIDS, early newborn and infant deaths. Today we honor the Mamas amongst us who have been through this difficult time. We honor their dreams and their stories. We celebrate and remember their precious, perfect babies. We share their belief that no baby can replace or refill the gaping hole left by another. We acknowledge that whether we have been through something similar or not, we can never know how they feel...their grief is entirely unique, entirely personal. We hold silent, supportive space for them. We give them our love, the glad tidings of their Lord and whatever else it is that they need. Aasiya. Asher. Aanya. Musa. Shahmeer. Zakaria. Zoya, Baby Bop, Baby Bean, Twin 1, Baby on the Left...Thinking of you today and honoring your brave Mamas. Heres to hoping you guys are having a party up there. May Allah reunite you with your families in the Hereafter. Ameen. If anyone would like to share the name of their born baby or dream baby in the comments below, I would love to hear about them and get an opportunity to say a little prayer for you and for them. x
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 09:53:20 +0000
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