A short story about the 2 dollar bill. This tickled our fancy - TopicsExpress

A short story about the 2 dollar bill. This tickled our fancy because our father is well known for always having these kind of bills on him. Please enjoy, laugh and share! On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill. Me: Hi, Id like one seven-layer burrito please, to go. Server: Thatll be $1.04. Eat in? Me: No, its to go. At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. Server: Uh, hang on a sec, Ill be right back. He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: Server: Hey, you ever see a $2 bill? Manager: No. A what? Server: A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me. Manager: Ask for something else Theres no such thing as a $2 bill. Server: Yeah, thought so He comes back to me and says, We dont take these. Do you have anything else? Me: Just this fifty. You dont take $2 bills? Why? Server: I dont know. Me: See here where it says legal tender? Server: Yeah. Me: So, why wont you take it? Server: Well, hang on a sec. He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like Im a shoplifter, and says to him, He says I have to take it. Manager: Doesnt he have anything else? Server: Yeah, a fifty. Ill get it and you can open the safe and get change Manager: Im not opening the safe with him in here. Server: What should I do? Manager: Tell him to come back later when he has real money. Server: I cant tell him that! You tell him. Manager: Just tell him. Server: No way! This is weird. Im going in back. The manager approaches me and says, Im sorry, but we dont take big bills this time of night. Me: Its only seven oclock! Well then, heres a two dollar bill. Manager: We dont take those, either. Me: Why not? Manager: I think you know why. Me: No really, tell me why. Manager: Please leave before I call mall security. Me: Excuse me? Manager: Please leave before I call mall security. Me: What on earth for? Manager: Please, sir. Me: Uh, go ahead, call them Manager: Would you please just leave? Me: No. Manager: Fine -- have it your way then. Me: Hey, thats Burger King, isnt it? At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. Guard: Yeah, Mike, whats up? Manager (whispering): This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money. Guard: No kidding! What? Manager: Get this ... a two dollar bill. Guard (incredulous): Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill? Manager: I dont know. Hes kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty. Guard: Oh, so the fiftys fake! Manager: No, the two dollar bill is. Guard: Why would he fake a two dollar bill? Manager: I dont know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here? Guard: Yeah. Security Guard walks over to me and...... Guard: Mike here tells me you have some fake bills youre trying to use Me: Uh, no. Guard: Lemme see em. Me: Why? Guard: Do you want me to get the cops in here? At this point I am ready to say, Sure, please! but I want to eat, so I say Im just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like Im taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, Hey, Mike, whats wrong with this bill? Manager: Its fake. Guard: It doesnt look fake to me. Manager: But its a two dollar bill. Guard: Yeah? Manager: Well, theres no such thing, is there? The security guard and I both look at him like hes an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!