A wise mama asks: Hi, I am hoping you can post this. It is long, so I apologize in advance. I need some advice and encouragement: my 4.5 year old son has extreme separation anxiety. He went to junior kindergarten(pre-k in the us) this past year and it was very hard on him. His anxiety became worse after he switched classes in January because of a bad fit with his teachers. He was ok in the new class for a bit and then his new best friend moved away. His new teachers were very gentle, unlike his previous ones from September to December. He does not like school, was always saying he was scared, that the other boys were hitting him. We had numerous discussions with the teachers and the principal. He didnt feel any safer and continued saying he wanted to stay home with me. Now, its summer and hes at the daycare he has been attending for before and after school care. He likes it there, I know that, but its still the same struggle to get ready for summer camp. The kids arent hitting him there and the teachers are awesome. He just says he wants to stay home with me like before, that he misses me, and on sundays he is always so sad, saying he just wants me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I try explaining that he goes to school to learn and play, that I have to work to pay for our apartment. I am a single mom so I cant stay at home with him to unschool. I dont get any child support. His bio father isnt in the picture. My health has been poor since January, so I have let him stay home with me for a couple of days hear and there when I have been too tired to get him ready for school or he has been super anxious or when he isnt really sick enough to stay home, just sniffly.I dont know if that has set up the precedent of absenteeism from school. I am trying to figure out a new job that will be more flexibile so I can spend more time with him on the weekdays instead of him going to before and after school care, but that likely wont happen until September or October if at all. I am tempted to quit my job and spend the summer with him. I have just under 2 months worth of savings if I am really careful. Its not a good option though as I get kind of nuts spending all day everyday with him. I would love to work from home and do something, but I have no idea what. I dont have a specific skill to be able to start my own business (no sewing or anything like that, just business analysis and tech writing) and the risk freaks me out. Just the prospect of a new job in the fall with a one year old start up company freaks me out, but at least I would enjoy the work unlike now. I practice a mix of ap and rei parenting. It hasnt always been that way, but I am trying my best and the transition has only been a year going. Sometimes I feel that my boy is going through the separation anxiety stage that he didnt really go through as much around the age of 2 because we didnt have the same level of attachment then (despite babywearing while I could, being at home with him for 3 years while being on social assistance and 3 years of nursing). Please, some advice. We are dairy free, gluten free, low on sugar, artificial colour free, and we both take lots of fish oil which has improved his anxiety a bit, but still. What can I do?
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 23:30:00 +0000