A year ago, another life. Still the same dreams with Steve and for my children. Living outside of my comfort zone now, just focusing on healing myself and daughter. Shelby is a fighter, so strong and yet now so vulnerable. The chemo regimen has begun again, five more months she must complete for the cancer cure! The side effects and symptoms return and I attempt to approach her symptoms as a nurse, being easier than her mom and feeling heartache. We have learned so much, first and foremost being thankful for being here, alive, and loving each other as we survive. For the first time ever a few days ago, Shelby asked me the question. Why do you think we both got cancer? Wow. I tried to grasp a thoughtful answer in a positive way for her. I think we both got cancer to make us stronger and help others along the way. She pondered the answer with no response. I pray that my words are the right words for her to hear as she depends on me, and give her the strength she needs. As Shelbys side effects return and worsen again, she became dehydrated and I had to take her into the ER. Familiar, loving faces of my friends and coworkers greet us and they temporarily heal her, until the next cycle of her chemo must be given. As mothers that have spent nights awake aside their children with fever, vomiting and illness, you would understand that I want to take it all away from her. Shelby gets angry with her illness, having to take her chemo every other day, and most medications dont relieve her symptoms. She tells me, You dont understand! But sadly, I do understand, and occasionally I am not enough to cheer her up. She struggles to be normal, and juggle school, friends, boyfriend and family. All of us questioning her daily on how we can help her. So many questions, each of us searching for the right answers, as we count down the days to completing our treatment. Although this last year may have been filled with illness, sadness and struggle, we have learned that walking hand in hand with our family and friends provides us with strength and courage! Each and every loving and generous act of kindness bestowed upon us is our blessing. What started out with my family and a small group of friends is now our Army of Angels! I can proudly shout that I am a one year Cancer Survivor! Soon Shelby will be able to acknowledge the milestone, yet she is a survivor every day! We now know how to give back and help those fighting this disease, as our journey within has taught us the value and power of prayer, love, family, and friendship. Day 366. Blessed, Grateful. Holding On To Hope xxoo
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 21:02:26 +0000
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