ADVICE FOR THE LADIES,FROM A MRS! I met him in Kenya and admired his personality. We became casual friends and could hang out once in a while. I never saw him entertain other ladies. 2 years later he proposed and I accepted the proposal in a span of one month...I was happy, very happy! As we dated, I had to relocate to one of the first world countries with an immigrant visa, and on consulting him he was ready to relocate with me or join me later. We agreed because of time frame issue, I would relocate first, get back to Kenya in an years time, get married and then relocate together. So I immigrated and after one year, I got home to my prince charming and married him in two months. Didnt manage to relocate with him because he hadnt even gotten travel documents ready so we agreed I start the process once I got back to my new adopted country, as he got the travel documents ready. A few months later, he called asking me to relocate back to Kenya because he could not leave his mother alone (the dad had died a few years earlier). I was shocked, to say the least! Tried talking him back to our earlier agreement but he could not hear of it...This is when I realized he is a mamas boy and he had already chosen who to be with-the mother and if I wanted to live with him, I had to go back to kenya! I visited a year later to sort this out, and he acted interested in coming when I was there, but on coming back, things were the same. This is a man who feels comfortable going without checking on me for a week, a month, two months, three months etc; wont even respond to text messages, but would email like once in two months maybe to ask a question (This has been the case all through engagement and marriage)-SINGLES, NEVER EVER IGNORE SUCH RED FLAGS, I used to call at least twice a week until I got tired. I could send him romantic cards, gifts, but has never even received a handkerchief from him. It reached a point that I fell into a depression, could not work, or even study and life kind of got into a stand still! I almost got evicted from my apartment due to inability to pay rent if it were not for God intervention. I made my hubby know of all these happenings but he ignored me completely, he shut me out for 6 good months without communicating in any form and when I called, he could act tired and sleepy and ask me to call him another day. This opened my eyes, I got professional counseling and got out of the depression and purposed, never again and I gave him a definite date to be with me or grant me a divorce...he went dead silent for the next 3 months! This is when I asked him for divorce, and he now called and acted so interested to joining me and I was happy and forgave him, but after that the previous cycles continued, no communication, no getting travel documents etc. I reached my end and accepted the situation; surrendered all to God and stopped calling, texting or emailing and my heart was flooded with peace. I decided to do what I needed to do to facilitate his coming, travelled home to push him get a passport...and his coming is in progress Friends, this will shock you but I have fallen sick and have been admitted in the hospital twice and the first person to text is my husband who would not even call or text back to check on my state, I have found myself stranded at the airport 10pm at night with luggage when he is busy at home despite knowing about my flight; being a student I have faced financial challenges and even after seeking his help he wont chip in to help in anyway or want to know whats going on with me(he has a good job and income). I believe the first quality of a prospective husband is how much he cares about you. You can know this during an hour of crisis e.g. Is he available during your hour of need? Does he feel pain with you in an hour of your loss? Is he proud of your company or does he look for a reason to attend functions without you? Does he includes you in his time of achievement or only in hours of his needs? Does he support your dreams or its only his that matters? NB: This is our fifth year of marriage and living apart. In actual sense we have not had continued stay together for more than a month at a time. We are both born again Pentecostals and did a holy church wedding... Ladies/friends, I am not seeking for advise, I exactly know what to do; I just want you to be careful on who you get married to because it is very painful to spend the rest of your life with such a man. I married a man that i would have sacrificed anything for, but who didnt recognize my value. Shalom! NB:My sis seems to have decided to live her life without worrying much about this man but i bet there is a lesson single ladies can learn from her experience,as they date,and make life commitment.God bless you
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 06:53:04 +0000
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