ARE YOU MARRIED TO A MAD MAN? (By Revd Canon Chinemerem Uche). My husband bought a new phone and sim card for me on our wedding day and saved just few numbers in the phone. He handed over the phone to me with instructions that I should never save any other number in it. He also ensures that I do not load credit in the phone so as to make sure I do not call anybody. I dare not keep the phone away from me because if he calls me once without my picking it, it will be impossible to let him know that I was not with another man. I therefore go about with this phone in a pouch hanged on my neck. There are sometimes however he goes to work with the phone for weeks. During those miserable weeks he goes to work with my phone, he will often bump into the house to check on me or sometimes he would send his driver who happens to be an old man with unkempt beard and very dirty teeth. This is my own world, a world controlled by my so called husband who does not treat me with respect and dignity. I want to say courageously that I am married to a mad man. Nobody will believe me because my husband does not dress like a mad man. He goes to church and he is also a very active member of the church. He dresses well and has managed his job very well. He is the beloved of his establishment where he works. They call him the “egg head” of his company. It was from his colleagues that I heard that a person who is described as cerebral is an intelligent and brilliant person. His colleagues further described him as “extremely cerebral.” Some call him “The Great Guru” Apart from a leave to enable him organize our wedding, he has never taken his leave before because the establishment cannot afford to let him stay away from work. The most surprising thing is that he has never fallen ill before. Our marriage was done I a hurry. A very good uncle of mine, a close confident of my late father recommended him to me. On that faithful day, this uncle came with my mother in-law to-be and introduced me to her. The woman begged me to marry her only son whom she described as a saint who would not hurt a fly. According to my mother in-law, my husband was shy with women and that was why he did not come to make the proposal. She told me in very gentle and convincing language that as a mother she would recommend her son to me because he has all it takes financially and materially to take care of a woman. In the presence of my uncle, I agreed to marry this man. A meeting was arranged between my husband and I, we did not talk much, and in fact he is a man of few words. He asked my name, occupation and age. He was so particular about knowing if I had any other man asking for my hand in marriage. He was also very much digging to know if I was a virgin. Truly I was a virgin before I married him. One week after we met, all the traditional rites were done and we wedded in the church the same day. One remarkable thing about our wedding was that it was conducted in a church where my husband was not a member. There was no pre-wedding counseling we just walked into the church and wedded in the presence of few witnesses. My mother in-law who is the spoke person of the marriage told me it was necessary for the marriage ceremony to be done in a hurry because my husband was a very busy person in his office. She told me that if the protocol of his very orthodox church was followed, that it would lead to a delay that will cost him his job. My uncle also agreed with her and encouraged me to go ahead in entering into the marriage. My uncle seemed very interested in the marriage. It was later that I discovered that he received a lot of cash to enable him convince me to marry the mad man. My husband I later learned was a dreaded rapist and the entire community where he came from had banished him from visiting other people’s homes. My husband promised to allow me do my National Youth Service as soon as I settled with him in the town. I was awaiting posting by the time we wedded. As at the time of writing this letter he has barred me from traveling talk less of going back to the University to collect my call up letter. I have also spoken to him about doing something in order to maintain a robust mind but he warned me never to think of it again. To him, he is already working and providing all the family needs and so there was no need for me to bother myself working. The simple conclusion of what I am telling you is that he does not want me to work I thought that women are to be respected and adored, but to my shocker, our first night together was like hell. We did not court before we got married; therefore I found it difficult entering his bedroom after the wedding reception. While he was undressing in the bedroom, I gently opened the door and while I attempted to step in, the next thing that landed on my face was a heavy slap. My husband suddenly realized himself and apologized to me. According to him, that was the first time a woman stepped into his bedroom and he forgot he was married and therefore thought I was an intruder. But to conclude this part of the story, our love making since I married has been characterized by violence. He is better described as a beast in bed. Just use your imagination to know how I wild beast behaves assuming it is given the opportunity to go wild with a woman. Unfortunately you cannot fathom my experience because my husband is a gentle dove before the public. But it may surprise you to know that my husband is standing trial for rape and child molestation of which only a few people in the town know about. I would not bother you with the details but as I write this, he is currently exploring an out of court settlement with the victims. With this I think you can now understand why I say I am married to a mad man. Madness get levels you know! I cannot greet any of my male family members he does not know. If I dare do that, then I should expect a beating when we get home. Our marriage is blessed with four very beautiful girls. My husband does not believe that he has children because they are all girls. When I had the last baby and it turned out to be a girl he refused to take her for child dedication. He also refused to inform home that I had put to bed. He complain about everything I do including sending my parents money. His decision in the house stands and it is final and absolutely incontestable! I do not visit my parents anymore and no one visits me. It is a law that I must receive my own phone calls on loudspeaker and before him. He does the shopping including buying vegetables and other ingredients for cooking. I see him as nothing but a mad man. Today as I write this, I no longer call him a mad man but a deranged devil. His mother told me that he would change but this change has taken eternity to come. Saying my husband will change is like telling me that one day America will be referred to as a colony of Nigeria. Some say my husband is a jealous lover but how true is this? Let me ask you again if you are a man reading this, are you a mad husband? If you are a lady reading this, let me ask you, are you married to a mad man? (This story has been adapted from a post I read on Facebook Thursday 16th October 2014.) October 16 at 2:41pm · Public L
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 07:45:13 +0000
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