Admin Fierce/Aric, paki post poh, thanks poh. This is the continuation for the whole physical/verbal/mental abuse thing that my Father did to me. As i mentioned on my post, Small mistakes: when i just did something that spark his anger, like dropping the material that was supposed to be used or fixing the faucet. He complains too much to the point that things heat up so much, I dont talk much anymore when he complains too much, i even told him that its just too much noise(i go to my room because i cant stand the noise anymore and i dont want to be hit by him as usual). I most certainly WILL NOT HIT MY FUTURE CHILDREN!, I AM NOT MY FATHER!, as a over-sensitive guy, I will love my children too much that i will NOT put my hands on them when i get mad. I told to myself that I will never make my dad touch them, because i know he does not deserves it. The only thing that i really regret is that, since I experienced alot from my Dad, i have become impatient and easy to get mad at people who say something unwitty, also, i swear(WHICH I DO NOT DO!! my mom told me swearing is REALLY BAD)now. Right now i am trying to put my old self back, really sweet and nice and NOT potty mouth like my dad. Honestly guys, who in the right mind Hits their children??? I will NEVER become my dad, I will love them no matter what they do. I am my mother, Unconditional love and I will never betray them like what my mother did when my dad beated me up. Just to really clear things up here, I told myself many times that No matter how much of a douche, stubborn, potty mouth, arsehole, jerk, bad father he was to me. I CAN still try to implement these experiences to the world now, like I THINK i learned how to be strong and handle people say bad things at me nonstop(like in my work, when my custs get really mad and swear, it just goes through my ears). and I learned how to make things go right through my ear and not hear a thing(when someone talks to me and i find it boring, i can just make it go through my ears): my point is, I can ignore things quickly without them even realizing it. And yes, i still cry on my sleep when i get those random memories back from the past. And from what i noticed, I get occasional memory lapses. probably from what my dad did to my head. My dad does not know that he was the reason that i became like this, If he knows that doing those things is bad, why hasnt he stopped?. There are times that he says: my dad did all of this things to me. also he NEVER tells me about his dad when i ask. So im guessing he hates him?. Anyway, i dont want to repeat myself guys. I WILL NEVER BECOME LIKE MY DAD. Thanks for cheering me up guys.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 23:02:42 +0000
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