Admin: I dare you to put this on the confessions site. Spongebob Movie Script Pirate #1: [with a trunk] I got it! I got it! I got it! Pirate #2: Dinghy ahoy. Pirate #3: Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow. Captain, dinghy off the... [He is slammed in the face by a door as the captain walks on deck] Captain: Dinghy. [Lets Pirate #1 onto the ship, along with the trunk] Pirate #1: I got it! I got it. Captain: Where is it? Pirate #2: Its right here, captain. [Opens the trunk] Captain: I never thought Id see it with me own eye. Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie! [The pirates cheer and they sail to the movie theater, singing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song] Pirates: ♪Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants. Absorbent and yellow and porous is he? SpongeBob SquarePants. If nautical nonsense be something you wish? SpongeBob SquarePants. Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish? SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePa-nts!♪ [The pirates hog the snack bar and get some popcorn. They rush into the theater room, where the movie starts] French Narrator: Ah,the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottoms popular undersea eatery - the Krusty Krab restaurant, where... [The camera pans down into Bikini Bottom in front of the Krusty Krab] Police: Back off! Back off! [waves arms to back off at reporters/citizens] Narator: Hey, wait a minute, What is happening? Mr. Krabs: Please settle down. [Referring to the Krusty Krab] Weve got a situation in there. Id rather not discuss till me manager gets here. Fish: Look, there he is. [A limousine drives up, SpongeBob climbs out of the limousine. He walks toward the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob: Talk to me, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: It started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no cheese! [he cries, but SpongeBob slaps him] SpongeBob: Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. Im going in. [goes into the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob: Take it easy, friend. Im the manager of this establishment. Everythings gonna be just fine. Phil: Im really scared here, man. SpongeBob: You got a name? Phil: Phil. SpongeBob: You got a family, Phil? [Phil begins to cry] Come on, Phil, stay with me. Lets hear about that family. Phil: I got a wife and two beautiful children. SpongeBob: Thats what its all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil. Phil: What? SpongeBob: Say cheese. [SpongeBob carefully lifts the bun and Dramatically puts some cheese under. He then comes out of the Krusty Krab with Phil in his arms] Order up. All[But SpongeBob]: Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip![Honk!] Hip! Hip![Honk!] Hip! Hip! [Honk!!!!] [Continues from dream] SpongeBob: Hooray!!! Gary, I had that dream again. And its finally gonna come true. Today. Sorry about this, calendar. [Rips calendar page off, reviling the KK2 page] Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2 where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Whos it gonna be, Gary? Well, lets ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards. [Camera pulls up, revealing many employee of the month portraits] SpongeBob E.O.T.M Awards: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob: Im ready. Promotion. [Goes into walk-in shower, Eats soap, Inserts a hose in his head, Puffs up until soap comes out, SpongeBob pulls out paper-like fabric, folds into his pants, back springs off, revealing his rear, brushes eyes with toothpaste, wipes off foam] Cleanliness is next to manager-liness. [Goes outside and runs around in circles] Im ready. Promotion. Im ready. Promotion. [The scene is zooming to Squidwards house, and then cuts to Squidward in his bathroom] Squidward: ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da dee, la da doo, la da dum.♪ Squidward and SpongeBob: [In unision] ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum,La da d...♪ Squidward: Huh? SpongeBob: ♪...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...♪ Squidward: [interrupts him, and covers himself] SpongeBob! What are you doing in here? SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward. Squidward: Whatever it is, cant it wait until we get to work? SpongeBob: Theres no shower at work. Squidward: What do you want? SpongeBob: I just wanted to say Ill be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today. Squidward: Get out!! [Throws him out the window] SpongeBob: Okay. see you at the ceremony. [Runs into Patrick, who comes out of his rock] Patrick: That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2.[Realizes that he doesnt have his trunks on] Oops. Hold on.[Rock closes, with Patrick on it. Then it opens again] Congratulations, buddy. SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, were gonna party till were purple. Patrick: GOD I LOVE BEING PURPLE! SpongeBob: Were going to the place where all the action is. Patrick: You dont mean...? SpongeBob: Oh, I mean. In unision: Goofy Goobers Ice Cream Party Boat! [Rock closes up on them, and opens up a few seconds later. They now have Goofy Goober hats, and a record begins playing on a record player beside Patrick] SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Oh, Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah. Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ SpongeBob: [Notices his watch] Id better get going. Im ready. Promotion. Im ready. Promotion. Patrick: Good luck, SpongeBob. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. [Bounces away] [The scene cuts to a large crowd gathered in front of the Krusty Krab. Perch Perkins is on TV, reporting] Perch Perkins: Hello, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, coming to you live from in front of The Krusty Krab restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering Krabby Patty. Until today, that is. Thats right, folks. Longtime owner Mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant called The Krusty Krab 2. First of all, congratulations, Mr. Krabs. [Krabs has a big grin on his face] Mr. Krabs: Hello. I like money. Perch Perkins: What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original? Mr. Krabs: Money. [Everyone laughs] [Plankton is watching the entire scenario out the window of the Chum Bucket] Plankton: Curses! Its not fair. Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and Ive never even had one customer! [the word customer is heard echoing in the kitchen. Plankton groans and moans while sweating] Karen: Dont get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors. Plankton: Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows Ive tried. Ive exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y. Karen: A to Y? Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet. Karen: What about Z? Plankton: Z? Karen: Z. The letter after Y. Plankton: [Searches through cabinet] W, X, Y, Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said. Karen: Oh, boy. Plankton: [Suggestively] Oh! Oh! Ohhh! Its evil. Its diabolical. [Sniffs it] Its lemon-scented. This Plan Z cant possibly fail! [Goes outside] So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, Ill have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank...! [SpongeBob runs by and accidentally steps on him] SpongeBob: Im ready,promotion... Im ready,promotion... Plankton: [While being stepped on by SpongeBob]Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! SpongeBob: Eww, I think I stepped in something. [Tries to scrape Plankton off] Plankton: Not in something, on someone, you twit! SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. [Pulls him off his shoe] Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony? Plankton: No, I am not on my way over to the grand-opening ceremony. Im busy planning to rule the world! SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. [Runs off] Im ready. Promotion. Im ready. Promotion. Plankton: Stupid kid. [Later, Mr. Krabs is at a stand in front of the Krusty Krab 2. The crowd is still gathered there, seated] Mr. Krabs: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Krusty Krab 2. Mrs. Puff: We paid $9 for this? Sandy: I paid $10! Mr. Krabs: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cutting, Id like to announce the name of our new manager. SpongeBob: Yay! Yeah! Yeah! Now were talking! Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Yes. Well, anyway... The new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee. SpongeBob [Thinking]: Yes. Mr. Krabs: The obvious choice for the job. SpongeBob [Thinking] : Hes right. Mr. Krabs: A name you all know. It starts with an S. SpongeBob: [Thinking] Thats me. Mr. Krabs: Please welcome our new manager...Squidward Tentacles! [A banner falls with Squidwards face on it] SpongeBob: Yes! Yeah! [Shaking Squidwards hand] Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Yeah! All right! [Grabs the microphone] People of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of... Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Hold the phone, folks, Im getting an important news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. [Mr. Krabs whispers into his ear.] Im making a complete what of myself? [Mr. Krabs whispers again] The most embarrassing thing youve ever seen? [Mr. Krabs whispers a third time] And now its worse because Im repeating everything you say into the microphone? Mr. Krabs: Oh, for crying out loud, SpongeBob! You didnt get the job! SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs: You... did not... get... the job. SpongeBob: But... But why? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, youre a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Squidward because being manager is a big responsibility. Well, lets face it, hes more... mature than you. SpongeBob: Im not... mature? Mr. Krabs: Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but theres a word for what you are, and that word is... now, lets see... Lenny: Dork? Mr. Krabs: No, wait, thats not right. Not a dork. Pearl: A goofball? Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no. Jim: A ding-a-ling. Steve: Wing nut. Miranda: A Knucklehead McSpazatron! Mr. Krabs: OK, thats enough! Look, what Im trying to say is, youre just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise theyd call it kid-ager. You understand-ager? I mean, you understand? SpongeBob: I guess so, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? [SpongeBob walks away] SpongeBob [depressed]: Im ready. Depression. Im ready. Depression. Mr. Krabs: Poor kid. [Patrick appears flying on a banner naked with a GO SpongeBob flag in his butt] Patrick: Hooray for SpongeBob! Hooray for SpongeBob! Lets hear it for SpongeBob! [Patrick accidentally hits the stage which sets on fire. Everyone except for Patrick runs away] Patrick: Hello? Whered everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt? French Narrator: Later that evening... [Later that evening, Plankton is traveling through the sky on his jetpack. He stops in front of a giant castle] Plankton: Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of King Neptune. [Neptune is sitting in his throne by his daughter Mindy, who is sitting in another throne. Neptune hits the squire on the head with his trident] Squire: Oh, right. The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward. [Guards do so] Neptune: So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the kings crown? Prisoner: Yes, but... Neptune: But what? Prisoner: But its my job, Your Highness. Im the royal crown polisher. Neptune: Well, then I guess I cant execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is. Mindy: Daddy! [Frees the crown polisher] Youre free to go. Crown Polisher: Bless you, Princess Mindy. [Walks away] Neptune: Mindy, how dare you defy me? Mindy: Why do you have to be so mean? Neptune: I am the king. I must enforce the laws of the sea. Mindy: Father, I wish youd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments. Presenter: That would be nice. [Neptune then hits him on the head] Neptune: Squire, clear the room. I wish to speak to my daughter alone. [Everyone except Neptune and Mindy leave. Neptune then shows Mindy his crown] What is this, Mindy? Mindy: Your crown? Neptune: And what does this crown do? Mindy: Covers your bald spot. Neptune: Its not bald, its... thinning. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding hairline. No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. One day, you will wear this crown. Mindy: Im gonna be bald?! Neptune: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you wont wear it until you learn how to rule with an iron fist. Like your father. [He puts what he thinks is his crown on. It is not a crown.] Mindy: Dad, your crown... Neptune: What the...? [Discovers that his crown is missing] My crown! Someone has stolen the royal crown! Plankton: [We see him leaving the castle with the crown] I got it. I got it. [He flies past Goofy Goobers Ice Cream Party Boat, which we get a view of inside. The bar is filled with children eating ice cream. Suddenly, a Goofy Goober Clock speaks] Goofy Goober Clock: Hey, all you Goobers, its time to say howdy to your favorite undersea peanut, Goofy Goober. Kids: Howdy, Goofy Goober! Goofy Goober: Hey, fellow Goofy Goobers. Time to sing. Goofy Goober: ♪Oh, Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah. Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah.♪ Goofy Goober and Kids: ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ [We then see SpongeBob crying at the Peanut Bar] SpongeBob: All right. Get it together, old boy. I know. Ill just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I dont even remember why I was sad. [Patrick walks up to him] Patrick: Hey, its the new Krusty Krab 2 manager! [SpongeBob starts crying again] Wow, the pressure is already setting in. SpongeBob: No, Pat, you dont understand. I didnt get the promotion. Patrick: What? Why? SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs thinks Im a kid. Patrick: What? Thats insane. SpongeBob: I know. Patrick: Well, saying youre a kid, its like saying Im a kid. [Waiter walks up to him handing him a Goober Meal] Waiter: Heres your Goober Meal, sir. Patrick: Im supposed to get a toy with this. [Waiter throws one at him] Thanks. SpongeBob: Im gonna head home, Pat. The celebrations off. Patrick: Are you sure? SpongeBob: Yeah. Im not in a Goober mood. [he starts to walk away] Patrick: Okay, see you. Waiter: [hands Patrick a Triple Gooberberry Sunrise] And heres your Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, sir. [SpongeBob starts to walk back to Patrick] Patrick: Yum! SpongeBob: Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those. Patrick: Now youre talking. Hey, waiter, we need another one over here. Waiter: [Handing SpongeBob one] There you go. SpongeBob: Ooh! [SpongeBob and Patrick gleefully eat rapidly and get ice cream on the waiter] Both: Buuurrrp! SpongeBob: Boy, Pat, that hit the spot. Im feeling better already. Patrick: Yeah. SpongeBob: Waiter, lets get another round over here. [then the waiter gives them two more. They eat them and get more ice cream on the waiter] Oh, Mr. Waiter. Two more, please. [Then the waiter gives them two more] Both: Whoo! [they eat the sundaes and get even more ice cream on the waiter] SpongeBob: Waiter. [Then they eat two more. By this time, the waiter is covered in ice cream. We see Patrick finishing his ice cream] Oh, waiter. [singsong] Waiter. [slurring] Wai-toor. [yelling angrily and pounding on the table. The bowls are stacked sideways] Waiter! Waiter: [puts a scoop of ice cream on a sundae] Why do I always get the nuts? SpongeBob: [Up on stage holding a lollipop] All right, folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world: [We see Patrick and the Goofy Goober up on stage, too] Patrick and this big peanut guy. Its a little ditty called... Both: Waiter! [All three faint. The next morning, SpongeBob wakes up to find the waiter trying to get him up] Waiter: [To SpongeBob] Hey. Hey, get up. Hey, come on, buddy. I wanna go home. Come on, pal. SpongeBob: [After recovering] Oh, my head. [He looks drunk] Waiter: Listen to me. Its 8 in the morning. Go scrape up your friend and get going. SpongeBob: My friend? [Sees Patrick lying on the floor. He looks drunk, too] Patrick. Hey, whats up, buddy? [Then realizes something] Wait, you said 8:00. Im late for work. Mr. Krabs is gonna be...[Disgustedly] Mr. Krabs. [At the Krusty Krab 2, Mr. Krabs is pinning the manager pin on Squidwards shirt. Then he pulls up a telescope to him] Mr. Krabs: Now, pay attention, Squidward. As new manager, youve gotta keep a sharp eye out for paying customers. [Looks through the telescope] Squidward: Yawn. Mr. Krabs: Whats this? King Neptune is riding toward The Krusty Krab at lunchtime. Hes got money. [Outside, King Neptune gets out of his coach and closes the door on Mindy] Neptune: Stay in the coach, daughter. [Gets out of the coach] This wont take long. Mindy: Daddy, please. I think youre overreacting. Neptune: Silence, Mindy. I know what Im doing. [Turns around to leave, but bumps into a pole] Squire. [The Squire, who was with them in the coach, pops onto the scene] Squire: Yes, Your Highness? Neptune: Have this pole executed at once. [Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Mr. Krabs is changing the price of the Krabby Patty] Squidward: A hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese. [Neptune comes into the Krusty Krab] Neptune: [To the customers] Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once. Mr. Krabs: Im Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order something? Neptune: [lightning flashes] Nay! Im on to you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny. For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime. [Holds up a piece of paper and shows it to Krabs] Mr. Krabs: I stole your crown. Signed, Eugene Krabs?! [Eyes widen] Neptune: Relinquish the royal crown to me at once. Mr. Krabs: But... But this is crazy! I didnt do it. The Phone: [Plankton begins impersonating Mr. Krabs voice] Ahoy, this is Eugene Krabs. Leave a message. Clay: [He impersonates another voice] Hi, Mr. Krabs. This is Clay, the guy you sold Neptunes crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptunes crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptunes crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye. Mr. Krabs: Heh, heh. Dont you just hate wrong numbers? Neptune: My crown is in the forbidden Shell City?! [Screams] [Outside, we see that Plankton is behind it, holding the phone] Plankton: Plan Z. I love Plan Z. King Neptune: [Continues screaming] Prepare to burn, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Wait, Neptune. Please, Im begging you, I aint a crook. Ask anyone, theyll vouch for me. King Neptune: Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs? SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is burping around and looking all drunk] Ive got something to say about Mr. [burps] Krabs. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, youve come just in time. Please, tell King Neptune all about me. SpongeBob: I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss. Mr. Krabs: You see? A great boss. SpongeBob: [offscreen] I now realize that hes a great big jerk! I deserve that managers job! But you didnt give it to me, because you say Im a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this man has got something to say to you. [blows a long raspberry] There, I think I made my point. King Neptune: Anyone else? No? Well, then. [Fires at Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs: My pants are on fire! Me underwears on fire! Im on fire! Oh, yeah. King Neptune: And now Eugene Krabs, [prepares to blast Mr. Krabs again] you... will... SpongeBob: Wait! Im flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isnt worth killing Mr. Krabs over. King Neptune: Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now its in Shell City. Thats why he must die. SpongeBob: Doesnt it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown? King Neptune: You dont understand. My crowny a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit. SpongeBob: Oh, Your Highness, Im sure its not that noticeable... [King Neptune removes his paper bag covering the top of his head, revealing a huge bald spot that shines] SpongeBob: Bald! Bald! [Everybody keeps on saying: Bald! Bald! Bald!] Fred: My eyes! King Neptune: All right, all right. SpongeBob: King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs life if I went to get your crown back? King Neptune: You, go to Shell City? No one whos gone to Shell City has ever returned. What makes you think you could? Youre just a kid. SpongeBob: But Im not a kid. I can do it. King Neptune: Run along. I have a crab to cook. SpongeBob: No! I wont let you. King Neptune: Very well, then. Ill have to fry you both! Mindy: Daddy, stop it! Cant you get through one day without executing someone? King Neptune: Mindy, I told you to stay in the carriage. Mindy: Wheres your love and compassion? [Holds SpongeBob] Look at this little guy. Hes willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss. King Neptune: But, daughter, I... Mindy: Please, Father? At least let him try. What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your special problem? [She removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot] All: Bald! Bald! Bald! Fred: My eyes! King Neptune: All right. Very well, Mindy. Ill give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls. And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly 10 days! [Patrick pops up] Patrick: He can do it in 9! King Neptune: 8! Patrick: 7! King Neptune: 6! Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob: Patrick! [They jump on him] King Neptune: Six it is, then. Patrick: [Being choked by Mr. Krabs] Fi--ve. SpongeBob: Patrick, shush. King Neptune: Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands! [He points his trident at Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs: No, wait. Im begging you! [King Neptune freezes him] Squidward: Who turned on the AC? [gasps] Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible. Whos gonna sign my paycheck? King Neptune: Come along, Mindy. Mindy: Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. Theres crooks, killers and monsters everywhere. And whats worse, theres a giant Cyclops [she imitates the Cyclops stomping] who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures. Dont let him catch you, because if he does, hell take you back to his lair, and youll never be seen again. Patrick: Shes pretty, SpongeBob. [While Mindy is explaining, Patrick is staring at her] Mindy: Here, take this. SpongeBob: Whats in here? [Opens bag and few winds blow at his face] Mindy: Its a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father. Patrick: [To Mindy] Youre hot. Mindy: Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and youll be blown back home. Neptune: [from the outside] Mindy! Mindy: Im coming. Good luck, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Wait. How did you know my name? Mindy: Oh, Im gonna be queen of the sea one day. Ive learned the names of all the sea creatures. Patrick: Whats my name? Mindy: Thats easy. Youre Patrick Star. [Patricks cheeks turn red and he blushes shyly from head to toe] Neptune: Mindy! Mindy: I gotta go. I believe in you guys. SpongeBob: Thanks, Mindy. [Now to Mr. Krabs] Dont worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I... Squidward: Pass. [He walks out the door, and leaves his hat behind] SpongeBob: Patrick and I... Patrick: Hi. SpongeBob: ... are gonna get that crown back and save you from Neptunes wrath. Youve got nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands. [Mr. Krabs turns his eyes and looks at them. They are drooling, and look very stupid. Mr. Krabs moans out of doubt] Patrick, lets go get that crown! [They run into a secret room under the Krusty Krab 2, and run into the Patty Wagon] SpongeBob: Feast your eyes, Patrick. Patrick: What is it? SpongeBob: The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features. Sesame-seed finish, steel-belted pickles, grilled-leather interior. And under the hood, a fuel-injected french-fryer with dual overhead grease traps. Patrick: Wow! SpongeBob: Yeah, wow! Patrick: Hey, I thought you didnt have a drivers license. SpongeBob: You dont need a license to drive a sandwich. [They start the engine, and crash through the side of the Krusty Krab 2, a word that says KER-PATTY!] SpongeBob and Patrick: Shell City, here we come! [Later, Plankton enters the Krusty Krab, looking satisfied with himself. Mr. Krabs is still there, frozen] Plankton: Ding-a-ling. Hey there, old buddy. [Sarcastically] Freeze. One secret formula to go, please. No, no, dont trouble yourself. Ill get it. Well, Id like to hang around, but Ive got Krabby Patties to make... over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I love you. [Mr. Krabs tears fall to the ground as Plankton leaves] [The next scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick riding to a nearby gas station in the Patty Wagon] SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Oh, Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah. Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ [They stop at the gas station, where 2 gas station fish] SpongeBob: Fill her up, please. Gas Station Fish #1: Whatll it be, fellas? Mustard... or ketchup?! [Both fish laugh] Patrick: Are they laughing at us? SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Theyre laughing next to us. Lloyd: Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway? Patrick: Kids?! SpongeBob: Now, now, now. For your information, we are not kids. We are men. And were off to get King Neptunes crown in Shell City. Both: Shell City? Lloyd: Aint that the place thats guarded by a killer Cyclops? SpongeBob: Thats right. Gas Station Fish #1: Lloyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead! You two dipsticks aint gonna last 10 seconds over the county line! SpongeBob: Oh, yeah? Well see about that. [He and Patrick get back into the Patty Wagon and pass the county line. A car stealer stops them] Bully: Out of the car, fellas. [SpongeBob and Patrick obey] SpongeBob: How many seconds was that? Lloyd: 12. SpongeBob and Patrick: In your face! Thats what Im talking about. Yeah! Patrick: Whos the kid now? [Both walk away] Gas Station Fish #1: Theyre dead. [The scene moves to a crowd entering the Chum Bucket back in Bikini Bottom. Perch Perkins is in front, once again reporting on TV] Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here with an incredible news flash. Plankton is selling Krabby Patties at the Chum Bucket. How is this possible? Lets find out. [He goes inside] [Inside, Plankton is watching his new customers] Plankton: Step right up. Plenty for everybody. Perch Perkins: Excuse me, Plankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom News. Can I get a minute? Plankton: Anything for you, Perch. Perch Perkins: All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty? Plankton: Well, Perch, before my dear friend Eugene Krabs was frozen by King Neptune... [voice breaking]Im sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. Sell the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket, he said. Dont let the flame die out. [sobs] By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchase. Here you go, Perch. [He plants a bucket helmet on his head] Perch Perkins: Thanks. Plankton: Bucket helmets for everyone! Man: [happily] My helmet! [Plankton enters his lab, where Karen is] Plankton: Karen, baby, I havent felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife. Karen: I never agreed. Plankton: Evil Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now. Karen: Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. [Displays SpongeBob and Patrick on the road on her computer screen] My sensors indicate that theyre going after the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints. [Plankton looks at his hands] Plankton: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. Ive already hired someone to take care of those two. Hes a vicious, cold-blooded predator! [Miles away, we see a hitman wearing sunglasses traveling on his motorcycle down the road.] Dennis: [takes off sunglasses in another one] [first lines] Sesame seed. Gas Station Fish #1: Hey, mister, does that hat take ten gallons? [Both gas station fish laugh. For this, Dennis rips off their mouths and drives away] [Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are still going] Patrick: Going on. SpongeBob: Yeah! Moving on. Just keep going. Patrick: Yup. SpongeBob: Gonna get that crown. Patrick: Oh, yeah. All right. SpongeBob: Yeah. Victory. Patrick: Are we there yet? SpongeBob: We must be close by now. [Sees a sign] Patrick, look. Were doing great! Shell Citys only five days away. [A leaf blocking part of the sign comes off, revealing 2 more words] Patrick: By car. SpongeBob: I wish we still had our car. Patrick: SpongeBob, look! SpongeBob and Patrick: Our car! [We see the Patty Wagon in front of a beat-up bar. SpongeBob and Patrick are about ready to get in the Patty Wagon, but SpongeBob notices that the key is missing] SpongeBob: The key! Patrick: Where do you think it is? [A man is thrown out of the bar, the Thug Tug, groaning in pain. SpongeBob and Patrick peek in through the window and see loads of Thugs drinking, playing pool and fighting. They both see a ski masked Thug with the spatula key in his pocket] SpongeBob: There it is, Pat. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it? Patrick: I know. Walk in and ask him for it. Thug: What are you looking at? [Punching sounds is heard] SpongeBob: Patrick, thats a terrible idea. Patrick: Sorry. Haman: I do not like horse. [pirates gasp] I do not like deer. [pirates applause] I do not like lambs. [pirates gasp one more time] I especially dont like fried fish. SpongeBob: I know. Ill go in and create a distraction, and you get the key. Patrick: Wait. I wanna do the distraction. SpongeBob: Okay. I guess it really doesnt matter who does the distraction. [Patrick then walks inside the Thug Tug, looking tough] Thug in background: You see me walkin back?! Patrick: [Using his mouth as a megaphone] Can I have everybodys attention? [Everybody surrounds closer to Patrick] I have to use the bathroom. Ski Masked Thug: Its right over there. [Spots SpongeBob trying to take the key from him. SpongeBob starts to rub on the floor] SpongeBob: Stupid contacts. Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off. [Runs away] [Inside the restroom, Patrick is going to the bathroom. He finishes as SpongeBob comes in] SpongeBob: Patrick. You call that a distraction? Patrick: Well, I had to go to the bathroom. SpongeBob: Well, I got my hands dirty for nothing. [SpongeBob pushes the soap dispenser and bubbles came out] Patrick, check it out! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Bubble party! [The duo parties with the bubbles. One floats out of the restroom and into the Thug Tug bar] Thug Tug Owner: Hey! Who blew this bubble? You all know the rules! Everybody in the Thug Tug: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar. Thug Tug Owner: Thats right! So who blew it? So nobody knows. [SpongeBob and Patrick burst bubbles] Tough Guy #1: Maybe it was... Thug Tug Owner: Shut up! [Throws a chair on him] Somebody in here aint a real man. [Sees SpongeBob and Patrick trying to sneak out] You! Were on a baby hunt. And dont think we dont know how to weed them out. Now, everybody line up. DJ, time for the test. No baby can resist singing along to this. [The Goofy Goober theme song plays] Patrick: SpongeBob, its the Goofy Goober theme song. SpongeBob: I know. [SpongeBob and Patrick try to resist to sing along] Goofy Goober: [On record] ♪Oh, Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah. Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ Tough Guy #2: [coughs] Thug Tug Owner: It was you! Youre the baby! Tough Guy #2: No, no! I only coughed, I swear. [The owner eyes him] Thug Tug Owner: DJ! Turn it up louder! SpongeBob: [trying not to sing] Dont sing along, Patrick! Patrick: Im trying. Trying so hard. [The owner notices his and SpongeBobs struggle and starts singing] Thug Tug Owner: ♪Im a Goofy Goober, yeah. Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah. Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah!♪ [SpongeBob and Patrick are about to sing, when some double-headed twins sing instead] Double Headed Twins: ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!♪ Thug Tug Owner: Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it? Double Headed Twins #1 and #2: It was him. He did it. Ive never even eaten at... ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!♪ Thug Tug Owner: Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby! [All of the tough guys start beating them up while SpongeBob and Patrick sneak out of the Thug Tug] SpongeBob: Man, that was a close call. Patrick: Guess what I got. [Pulls out the key] SpongeBob: The key! [He and Patrick start up the Patty Wagon, get in, and drive away] [Back in Bikini Bottom for the next morning, Squidward is enjoying the time without SpongeBob] Squidward: Too bad SpongeBobs not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here. [He starts to ride his bike around town] Fish: Morning. [Squidward notices he is wearing a Chum Bucket helmet] Squidward: Some people have no taste in headgear. [Looks around more and sees everyone with a helmet, even a baby] Babies too? [Rides over to a female fish in a boat, waiting for the light to change] Excuse me, miss, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear? Female Fish: [She looks around] Who said that? Squidward: Down here. Female Fish: [Finds Squid] Well, I got it at the Chum Bucket. Planktons giving them away free with every Krabby Patty. Squidward: Chum Bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With? [At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is enjoying his day and watching his customers. Squidward bursts in] Squidward: So youre selling Krabby Patties, eh, Plankton? Plankton: Thats right, Squidward. [Pulls out a helmet] And theres a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one? Squidward: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you cant fool me. I listen to public radio. Plankton: And whats that supposed to mean? Squidward: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby little paws on the Krabby Patty formula. [Plankton looks at his hands] It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck. And Im gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune! Plankton: Well see about that, Inspector Looselips. [Presses a button on Karen] Karen: Now activating helmet brain-control devices. Squidward: Huh? What? [A satellite goes up on the Chum Bucket, causing the bucket helmets to start to control their wearers] Wearers of Helmets: All hail Plankton. Squidward: [Eyes widened] Whats going on here? Planktons Slaves [Wearers of Helmets]: All hail Plankton. Plankton: Seize him, slaves! Slaves: All hail Plankton. Squidward: Im getting out of here! [Runs for the door, but more slaves burst in and corner him] Slaves: All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. [Squidward, cornered, screams in horror as Planktons slaves capture him] Plankton: Who can stop me now? Who?! [Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are still traveling in the Patty Wagon. They are laughing from something Patrick has done] SpongeBob: Come on, Pat, one more time. Patrick: Okay. [Imitates the guy who owns the Thug Tug] Were on a baby hunt. And dont think we dont know how to weed them out. [SpongeBob and Patrick laugh] SpongeBob: Weed them out. What a jerk. [They both drive along a pile of skulls] The roads getting kind of bumpy here. Patrick: You know, SpongeBob, theres a lesson to be learned from all of this. SpongeBob: Whats that, Patrick? Patrick: A bubble-blowing double baby doesnt belong out here in mans country. SpongeBob: Yeah. [Then realizes something] Wait. We blew that bubble. Doesnt that make us a bubble-blowing double baby? [Both think about this until he spots a free ice cream stand] Patrick: Hey look! Free ice cream! SpongeBob: Oh, boy! [heads the stand] Patrick: [Talks to a skull] How you doing? Wait a minute. [Patrick looks at his surroundings and looked worried] Wait a minute. SpongeBob! SpongeBob: Yeah? Patrick: Make mine a chocolate! SpongeBob: Got you covered. [To the old woman] Two, please. Old Woman: Certainly. You kids enjoy. [she takes out a fake ice cream] SpongeBob: Actually, were men, lady, but thanks. [Gets bowl] Hey, Patrick, lets... [His hand is stuck on the bowl, which the old woman is still holding] You can let go now. I said, let go, please. What is this? What kind of old lady are you? [A huge frog fish comes out of the ground, revealing that the old woman was its tongue. When the frog fish is about to eat SpongeBob, he breaks lose and falls into the Patty Wagon] Patrick: Did you get the ice cream? [frog fish roars] SpongeBob: Step on it, Patrick! [Patrick drives the Patty Wagon at top speed away from the frog fish, which is in hot pursuit, as he and SpongeBob scream] [Dennis has arrived at The Thug Tug, at that time, and is looking around. He finds SpongeBob and Patricks bubble. Suddenly, all of the thugs appear] Thug Tug Owner: Hey! [Dennis turns around] You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles. [Snaps his fingers and all of the thugs say the rule] All Thugs: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied person... [Dennis punches the owner into the Thug Tug, which breaks and falls into the ground, then drives away] [Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick still fleeing from the monster] Old Woman: Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. Ill let you pet Mr. Whiskers. [A cat on a tongue is shown] Mr. Whiskers: Meow. SpongeBob: Jump for it, Patrick! [They jump out of the Patty Wagon, which the frog fish eats. A gigantic eel eats the frog fish and dives back in. SpongeBob and Patrick stare in disbelief] Well, we lost our car again. Patrick: Never mind the car, wheres the road? [echoes] Road, road, road, [the echo turns out to be Patrick repeating]road, road, road, road, r... Sorry. SpongeBob: Theres the road. On the other side of this [Looks down the trench in front of them] deep, dark... dangerous... Patrick: [after seeing a fire] Hazardous. SpongeBob: Hazardous... Patrick: [after seeing a tentacle] Monster-infested. SpongeBob: Yeah, monster-infested... trench. Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, look! Heres the way down. Well, were not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City. [Patrick took the first step and monsters grawls] Hey, look, its making noise. SpongeBob? [Sees him about to leave] Hey, where are you going? SpongeBob: Im going home, Patrick. Patrick: But what about Mr. Krabs? SpongeBob: What about us? Well never survive in that trench. You said it yourself, this is mans country. And lets face it, Pat. Were just...kids. Patrick: Were not kids. SpongeBob: Open your eyes, Patrick! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corns sake! We dont belong out here! Patrick: We do not worship him. SpongeBob: [Pulls down his shorts] Youve been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight. [We see Patricks underwear with the Goofy Goober pictures on it] What do you call that? Patrick: Worship? [Gets tears in his eyes] Youre right, SpongeBob. We are kids. [Runs around then falls down] SpongeBob: Pull your pants up, Patrick. Were going home. Mindy: But you cant go home! [SpongeBob and Patrick see Mindy riding a coach driven by sea horses] Patrick: Mindy?! [Struggles to put his shorts on] SpongeBob: Mindy? How much did you hear? Mindy: I heard enough. Patrick: Did you see my underwear? Mindy: No, Patrick. Patrick: Did you want to? Mindy: Look, guys, you may be kids, but youre the only ones left who can get that crown. SpongeBob: What do you mean, the only ones left? Mindy: Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. [Pulls out a magical clam, which opens up revealing Bikini Bottom now] Or should I say Planktopolis. Slaves: All hail Plankton. Plankton: No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isnt gonna build itself. Move faster! SpongeBob: Oh, my gosh! Patrick, look! Planktons turned everyone we know into slaves. [We see what everyone is doing work for Plankton] Squidward, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, [SpongeBob gasps] even Gary. Gary: Meow Plankton. SpongeBob: Cant your father do something? Mindy: My fathers too distracted by his bald spot to do anything. [The magical clam shows Neptunes bald spot about to be sprayed by the Squire with hair growth spray] Neptune: Squire, will you hurry? [The Squire is nervous. He closes his eyes and sprays. Well, he accidentally sprays Neptunes eyes, which grow hair and screams] Mindy: [She closes the clam] So you see, you cant quit. The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands. SpongeBob: But... But were just... Mindy: Hey. It doesnt matter if youre kids. Whats so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You dont need to be a man to do this. You just gotta believe in yourself. You just gotta believe! [Swims up into the sky, then comes back down] SpongeBob: I believe. Mindy: Thats the spirit. SpongeBob: I believe that everybody we know is a goner! [He and Patrick begin crying] Mindy: Come on, guys. [They dont stop] Guys. [They still dont stop] Guys? [they both drink their own tears] Ew. Narrator: Meanwhile. [Dennis is next scene crashing threw a bunch of skulls and laughs and one skull becomes a poison look. Scene cuts back to Mindy] [Spongebob and Patrick are now rocking and sucking their thumbs] Mindy: Guys? [No answer] Oh, boy. Think, Mindy, think. [Then she comes up with an idea] Yup, I guess youre right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. Thats why I guess Ill just have to turn you into men. [SpongeBob and Patrick stop crying] SpongeBob: You can do that? How? Mindy: With my mermaid magic. Horses: [neighing] Mermaid Magic? [Mindy shushes them to be quiet] SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Patrick? Shell use her mermaid magic to turn us into men! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Were gonna be men! Were gonna be men! Were gonna be men! Mindy: Good. Now, lets get started. Close your eyes. SpongeBob: Are we men yet? Mindy: Not yet. Spin around three times. SpongeBob: [Whispers] I think its working. [They turn around like they are doing ballet] Mindy: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. [Grabs two sea weed and puts them onto SpongeBob and Patrick as mustache] With my mermaids magic and my one tailfin [Patrick giggles], I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes. SpongeBob: I dont feel any... [Notices that Patrick has a mustache] Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache! Patrick: So do you! Mindy: So now that youre men, can you make it to Shell City? [SpongeBob and Patrick adores their mustaches] Guys! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah? Mindy: I said, now that youre men, can you make it to Shell City? SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, yeah! Mindy: Are men afraid of anything? SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, no! Mindy: And why? SpongeBob and Patrick: Because were invincible! [Jump off trench] Yeah! Mindy: I never said that! [As they fall, SpongeBob and Patrick do tough moves] SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick: Yeah, buddy? SpongeBob: Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs? Patrick: Bec... well... SpongeBob: [A branch catches them and stops them from falling and they land safely on the ground] Patrick. Patrick: Are we dead? SpongeBob No, far from it, my friend. Were safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. The mustaches worked! Do you know what that means? Patrick: We are invincible! SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Now that were men, we can do anything.♪ [An eel flips them in the sky and is about to eat them] ♪Now that were men, we are invincible.♪ [A squid catches them but crashes in a tall piece of coral] ♪Now that were men, well go to Shell City,♪ [they slide down the coral and fly across 3 slow monsters. They then fall in a see-through fish]♪ get the crown, save the town, and Mr. Krabs.♪ [They walk out of the end of its gut] ♪Now that were men,♪ [walking between sea urchins] SpongeBob: ♪We have facial hair.♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Now that were men,♪ Patrick: [An urchin rips Patricks shorts off] ♪I change my underwear.♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Now that were men, weve got a manly flair.♪ [waking over volcanos switching on and off] ♪Weve got the stuff. Were tough enough to save the day.♪ [playing hopscotch over lava rocks] ♪We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No!♪ [They dodge a monsters head, a green hand and a monstrous boulder] ♪But take a look at what the mermaid did.♪ [They dodge a giant green crab who cant even get a chance to pinch them] ♪Ha! Ha! Ha!♪ [They walk onto a road which turns out to be a big, blue, one eyed angler fishs fin. The two begin dancing and slapping their bodies] SpongeBob: Yeah, go, Pat. [a green 3 eyed fish and a red squid appears with the purple one-eyed angler fish. When SpongeBob and Patrick were slapping their bodies and legs, the green 3 eyed fish beckons an big orange fish, a purple lobster/dragon, a green one eyed monster with 3 arms on its head, a snail with its eyes on its shell, a big yellow monster with an eye on a stalk and a clam with one eye in its mouth] Patrick: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. SpongeBob: Oh yeah. Patrick: Yeah, go SpongeBob. They both finish by touching the tip of their toes] Ah! Monsters: Hooray! ♪Now that theyre men, We cant bother them. Now that theyre men, they have become our friends. Now that theyre men, therell be a happy end. Theyll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. Theyll pass the test♪ [they slap their bodies] ♪and finish the quest.♪ [and again] ♪Theyll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!♪ [The group happily reaches the top of a trench as SpongeBob notices a sign] SpongeBob: Shell City, dead ahead. We did it, Pat! We made it past everything! Even the hideous, disgusting monsters. [Monsters begin to walk away] Not you guys. You guys are awesome! [Monsters just keep walking] Well, Patrick, we should be there in one more verse. SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Now that were men...♪ [They are interrupted by Dennis the exterminator] Dennis: Finally. I got you right where I want you. SpongeBob: Can I help you with something, sir? Dennis: Names Dennis. Ive been hired to exterminate you. SpongeBob: Youre gonna exterminate us? [They look at each other and laugh] Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so Im gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you wont have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches. Dennis: You mean these? [Rips SpongeBob and Patricks fake mustache Off of their faces, SpongeBob And Patrick wimper while feeling their cheeks in horror] I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime. [Dennis throws seaweed Dramatically, seaweed falls to the ground after a slight spin] SpongeBob: They were fake? Dennis: Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like. [He grows a mustache] Patrick: Is he a mermaid? Dennis: All right. Enough gab. SpongeBob: What are you gonna do to us? Dennis: Plankton was very specific. SpongeBob: Plankton? Dennis: For some reason, he wanted me to step on you. Patrick: Step on us? Dennis: Yeah! That way youll never find out that he stole the crown! [SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other again, this time, more scared] Dennis: uhhh... Perhaps Ive said too much. [Raises up his foot, ready to step on the two] Patrick: Thats a big boot. Dennis: Dont worry. This will only hurt a lot. [Laughs maniacally] I love this job! [An extremely large boot stomps on Dennis] Patrick: Bigger boot! [Starts to run away, but SpongeBob stops him] SpongeBob: Wait, Pat. This bigger boot saved our lives. in unison: Thank you, stranger. [SpongeBob looks up] SpongeBob: uhh... Stranger? [Scuba diver looks at them] SpongeBob: Its the Cyclops! [The two Try to run, but the Scuba diver grabs them and takes them with him] SpongeBob and Patrick: Help us! Help us! Save us, someone! [SpongeBob and Patrick have recovered on a bed of tank pebbles] Patrick: Are we dead? SpongeBob: I dont think so. [Inspects the ground] Artificially colored rocks? [Patrick eats the pebbles] SpongeBob: I dont know where we are.[Bumps into glass] What is this? Patrick: Its some kind of wall of psychic energy. [Taps the glass of the fishbowl they are in] SpongeBob: No, Pat, its a giant glass bowl. [Screen zooms out to show the outside of the fish bowl] Sponge-bob Hey, theres some fish folk. [Camera unblurs to show some fish Knick-Knacks on the shelves and nooks] Sponge-Bob and Patrick: Hey, over here! Hey! Hey! Hey, you guys! You guys, hey! Help! Hey! Help! A little help here! Were stuck in this... [Patrick stops yelling] [Camera shows 3 knick-knacks, Some seahorses, A Puffer fish [Mr.Puff], And a Spanish band] Sponge-Bob: Wait a second. Those fish are... [Camera zooms in to sponge-bobs mouth] dead. Sponge-bob: Whats he gonna do to us? [The Cyclops appears and takes out a small toolbox] Oh, no, hes going for his evil instruments of torture. [The cyclops takes out glue and google eyes] Sponge-Bob: Glue? Google eyes? Hes making a humorous diorama of [The Cyclops glues the google eyes on a clam, and puts a hat on it and a play phone near it] ... Alexander Clam Bell? Patrick, hes killing sea animals and making them into smelly knickknacks. And I think were next. Patrick: You think so? [Cyclops takes Patrick out of bowl] SpongeBob: Patrick! No! [Cyclops takes SpongeBob out of bowl and puts both on a table involving a heating lamp] SpongeBob: The heat is so intense from this lamp that I cant move. Cyclops: [Laughs Maniacally] Patrick: Tell me about it. SpongeBob: This doesnt look too good, Patrick. Patrick: [In a old man voice] You mean were not gonna get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs? SpongeBob: I dont even think were gonna be able to save ourselves, buddy. [SpongeBobs arm falls off, then Patrick puts it back] SpongeBob: Thanks. Patrick: Dont mention it. SpongeBob: Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Patrick. Patrick: You mean that were attractive? SpongeBob: No, that were just kids. A couple of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, look at us. We didnt even come close to the crown. We let everybody down. We failed. Patrick: Shell City. SpongeBob: Yeah, we never made it to Shell City. Patrick: Shell City. SpongeBob: Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to. Patrick: Shell City. SpongeBob: OK, now youre starting to bum me out, Patrick. Patrick: No, look at the sign. [SpongeBob sees what he was talking about. A sign by the door] Shell City. Marine gifts and sundries. SpongeBob: Shell City is a gift shop? But if this is Shell City, then wheres the...? [Camera zooms out to show Neptunes crown sitting on a cushion] Patrick and SpongeBob: Crown! SpongeBob: Neptunes crown. This is Shell City. Pat, we did make it. Yeah, I guess we did. We did all right for a couple of goofballs. [Both shed one tear of joy] SpongeBob: [In a weak voice] Im a Goofy Goober, yeah... In unison: [Also in a weak voice] Youre a Goofy Goober, yeah... SpongeBob and Patrick: [Camera goes down to show tears in 2 combined teardrops] Were all Goofy Goobers, yeah.[Screen goes back up to show the two drying] Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah [The two dehydrate and die] [Camera pans back in the theater, where all of the pirates in the audience ] Captain: Thats the end of SpongeBob. [To a pirate] Come here, you. [Hugs him tight when a parrot lands on his shoulder] Captains Parrot: *squawk* Shut up and look at the screen. Captain: The birds right. Look! [Camera goes back to movie to show the teardrop again] It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers. [The teardrop rolls down the lamps wire into the electrical outlet which lets out smoke, causing the sprinklers to turn on. They come back to life from the water and suffocate for one second] SpongeBob: Hey, were alive![The pirates cheer] Lets get that crown. Patrick: Right. [He and Sponge rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up] SpongeBob: On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. [Scuba diver picks up crown] Hey, its lighter than I thought. [The camera pulls up to reveal that the Scuba diver is the one that picked it up. Suddenly, all of the sea creatures in the room begin to shake and come back to life because of the water sprinklers] Patrick: Whats happening? SpongeBob: I dont know. Look! [1,007 sea creatures, including Mr. Puff, The spanish band, the sea horses and 3 of Patricks relatives reanimate. Some Octopuses/Jellyfish 3 Lobsters that bear a strong resemblance to mr.krabs, Squirt Glue And at the Scuba diver and the other sea creatures attack the Scuba diver and SpongeBob and Patrick escape] Come on, Patrick. Lets get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. [The two carry the crown outside to the beach] SpongeBob: Do you still have that bag of winds? Patrick: I sure do. [Patrick shows a lump on his butt] Here you go. [Pulls out the bag. SpongeBob stares at him, wide-eyed] What? SpongeBob: Nothing, nothing... Okay, lets go over the instructions. [Reads the paper with the instructions on it] Lets see, it says here, Step one: Point bag away from home. Patrick: OK. [Points bag at Shell City] SpongeBob: Step two Patrick: Right! [Plants his feet in the sand] SpongeBob: Step three,remove string from bag releasing the winds Patrick: Check. [Pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm] SpongeBob: Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, lets do it for real. Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob? SpongeBob: No, no, stop! [He chases after the bag] Patrick: I was bad, Im sorry! Please, bag. Im sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake! SpongeBob: Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now? David Hasselhoff: [first lines] I can take you there. [SpongeBob and Patrick spot David Hasselhoff running towards them] SpongeBob: Who are you? David Hasselhoff: Im David Hasselhoff. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! SpongeBob: So wheres your boat? David Hasselhoff: Boat? [He laughs heartily] [The next scene depicts SpongeBob and Patrick riding toward Bikini Bottom on Hasselhoff] SpongeBob: Go, Hasselhoff! Patrick: Next stop, Bikini Bottom. [In Bikini Bottom, Planktons slaves are still under control] Bikini Bottom Residents: All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. [Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Plankton is walking in] Plankton: Well, Krabs, you know what today is? [Looks at calendar. The date is wrong] Sorry about this, calendar. [Changes it] March 14? Wait, thats not right. It should say The day that Krabs fries! [Looks out the window and sees Neptune and Mindy arrive] Guess whos here. [Above the ocean, Hasselhoff is now gliding like a motor boat] SpongeBob: Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now. Patrick: Unidentified object off the hindquarters. SpongeBob: It looks like... [The divers boot emerges from the ocean] SpongeBob: Bigger boot. But how? [The boot stops behind Hasselhoff’s foot. From the bottom, Dennis emerges, his sunglasses broken] Ah! Its Dennis! Dennis: Did you miss me?\ PART 1
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 07:23:53 +0000
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