“Advance…halt!” Dr. Mintzy pivoted on his heels and turned to face the squad. “We are about to engage with an enemy that is almost beyond comprehension,” he said. “A team of secret government operatives whose methods have become…unsound. Not only are they composed of pudding and related food products, but these elements have been tampered with and virally potentiated. We must consider them extremely dangerous. Do not underestimate the Spooks. Those who have done so before…well, just take a look at some of these photographs.” Mintzy pulled a manila folder from his briefcase and passed it to the head of the line. The man’s hand began to shake and he vomited copiously on the ground. “Don’t worry, son. It’s a natural reaction. When you’ve seen one of your best buddies turned inside out, pumped full of gases and then reduced to widely scattered clumps of viscera and brain matter, you have begun to understand the true face of horror. But that is child’s play to what these creatures are capable of. I saw one of them rip out a man’s eyeballs and play ping-pong with them, and that was just the prologue to a long and blood-spattered tragicomedy. I laughed and cried and ultimately gave it one thumb up and one thumb down. But fear not. You have been trained to counter every trick, every decoy, every vile strategy known to these rogue agents. You are the milk-white essence of everything honorable about America. I applaud you. Some of you will not return from this mission, or will emerge as shattered wrecks barely able to distinguish a nose from a buttock. I hope that in the last moments before brain activity ceases to function you will take a nanosecond to clap yourself on the back—provided minimal motor coordination—in recognition of the service you have rendered to your country. Now go out there and bring me some Spook heads.” --from "Beyond the Valley of the Pudding Spooks"
Posted on: Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:41:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015