Advice to spread the love seems like a no-brainer. Who wouldn’t want to share such a positive and uplifting emotion? The only problem is that when we’re going through a rough patch in recovery, we don’t feel much love, much less able to spread it around. This is completely understandable and nothing to get concerned about – sharing the love, that is, not that we’re going through a rough patch. Fortunately, most of us will make good use of our coping mechanisms, rely on our support network and eventually make it through the tough times relatively unscathed – perhaps even learning something from the experience, as unpleasant as it may have seemed at the time. But, getting back to the recommendation that we spread the love, how can we train ourselves to be more accommodating to this heartfelt gesture? After all, it probably isn’t anything that comes naturally to us. Considering the fact that we’ve likely experienced a period of pain, confusion, uncertainty and worry about how we’ll do in recovery, we may still feel like we’re trying to right our ship, to get it steered on the correct course, and to achieve at least a certain level of confidence in our abilities. The most important thing to remember when we look at any recommendations made by others with respect to recovery is that they are just that, recommendations. There is no set timetable for how and when we should complete them or even if they’re right for us. As with other recovery-oriented advice, we should just take it in, absorb the message and apply it wherever and whenever it makes sense. This lets some of the pressure escape, so that we don’t feel compelled to rush into something we aren’t yet ready for. It’s hard to spread the love when we’re hurting inside, when we are doing the best we can just to make it through the day without slipping, finding our footing in this new life of sobriety we’ve chosen. But, we have to trust and believe that it will get better – because it will. Still, it doesn’t cost us anything to smile at others, even if we feel pain inside. This doesn’t meant that we hide our problems or try to conceal from those that matter what’s going on with us that they may be able to help us deal with. It doesn’t mean that we put up a false front, acting as if everything is perfectly fine when we may feel like a shambles inside. It’s a simple smile. This may be a facial expression that we’ve become a stranger to. Goodness knows, we probably haven’t felt like smiling for some time. Practice smiling in the mirror. See how it changes our face, brightening our expressive features, lifting our spirits. Another tip to learning how to spread the love is to start looking for the good in everything instead of the bad. There are always two sides to a situation. There’s the negative, which many of us automatically jump to. There’s also the positive, which may be a bit more difficult to ferret out, but is there, nonetheless, if we look for it. By searching for the positive – in our day, in our acquaintances during the day, in our activities, goals, in what we read or see on the news – we will be reorienting ourselves to a more hopeful outlook, one that is more conducive in the long run to spreading the love.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 11:29:05 +0000
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