After a day of excitement, it was time to go do what any single man aspires to do on a Saturday night, so I went to visit my Grandmother. This began down by the Salvation Army Store, and it ended up at (I think) 14th Street. I was pulled over at an old gas station checking out Facebook as I rarely do. The policeman drives by while Im there, and proceeds to pull in just up the street and park. I then pulled out, and began to be on my way. After I pass him, he immediately pulls out behind me. He follows me all the way to 14th street before turning on the blue lights. We pulled in, and he approaches my car. I look at him and by being judgemental, I can tell this is going to be (as he later called it) confrontational. 1) He had his thumbs in his belt. 2) He lifted. 3) His right arm had a tattoo of a scorpion tail showing from under his sleeve. 4) His left arm had a tattoo of dog tags showing from under his sleeve. 5) He had a buzz haircut which plainly showed his receding hairline. I know this pissed him off as I have to deal with it daily. Mine is still better, because he had those two round patches of hair on his forehead that a lot of men think will cross-pollenate to form a new healthy hairline. Dude, the shit aint gonna happen.... Anyway, this is what happened. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Grandmas Boy (me): No. Officer: You spun your tires back there when you turned onto 202. (while looking at my back tires)....~Silly rabbit. GB: No, I didnt. Officer: Um, yeah, you did. GB: No, I didnt. Officer: Did you just get this car? GB: No. Officer: Well, I know when I learned how to drive stick, I had trouble. < My out. GB: I know how to drive it. Officer: Look man, I dont look to pull people over to have a confrontation. GB: Were not having a confrontation. Officer: Well, when you pulled onto Quintard, you were supposed to take the inside lane, but you went all the way over to the outside lane. < This is true, but now he is already going to plan B. GB: Youre right. Officer: Well, I could write you a ticket for that, but Im not going to. < This is true, but it usually indicates the officer is using simple psychology to make me feel as if I should feel fortunate. GB: Youre right. Officer: You also dont have proof of insurance. GB: But, I have insurance. Officer: I dont know that. GB: When you run my plate, it should show it. Officer: You have to have proof in your car. < This may be correct. GB: OK. Officer: I could write you a ticket for that, but I wont. Truth/GB gets fortunate feeling. GB: Cool. Officer: Im going to run your license. GB: Well, my insurance may be still under the plate 46ANTWO.....*GB waits for possible TOOL common bond......nothing :( Officer: OK. *Grandmas Boy remembers when Mountain Homes Benny Magness got owned on video. He then starts recording while Killing in the name bounces around in his head. He records.... Officer: *Steps out of police car. GB: *With much cowardice, throws phone into passengers seat, but doesnt do that innocent whistle like in movies and cartoons. Officer: Im going to write you a warning. < Now, theres a paper trail if I get accused of the same thing (I think in my conspiracy theory mind). Officer: All you had to do is tell me you were having trouble driving a stick, and we wouldnt have had to go through all of this. .............Intermission *GB is now replaced by SS.......Game on ~ Waynes World. SS: Look man, I have had this same thing happen to me before. Anniston PD tried to write me up for reckless driving before. I said, no. One of your fellow officers then tried to write me a ticket for Exhibition Of Speed. I said, no. I asked him, what are your grounds for this?. He said that it sounded like I left it in first gear for a long time. Note: Reader should have WTF going through his or her head right....wait...............NOW! He then told me that it was all on camera. I said, Ok, lets look at it......The officer then told me my windows were too dark....his relent became obvious. FF>>> I went to court. I plead not guilty. The prosecutor told me that they would drop all charges if I would go to driving school. I said, No. I explained to him that me going to driving school would be the equivalent of Kobe Bryant paying off that girl that he said he didnt rape. Dee told me to go to the school....I went. *With head down kicking at rocks. I told (tonights officer) that I would do the same with him as I havent done anything wrong. Officer: You know, everyone that Ive pulled over has thanked me, and I have never had any confrontation. SS: We didnt have a confrontation. It was a false accusation..... Officer: Well, heres your warning, and you can go. SS: I will in a minute. Officer: Why in a minute? SS: *Points toward drivers license under officers badge. Officer: Oh, I always do that....here *hands me my license. GB: Thanks.......THE END. I do not hate policemen. I will not talk about policemen as a whole just as I will not talk about any people as a whole (except maybe Nickelback fans). You cant blanket people because of what one person did*. The Anniston Police Department has just been, so far, a little bit Power-Trippy. The pig remark was from a movie, so if youre a policeman, get that sand out**. ~ Swink *Unless you are a Nickelback fan. **Also, if youre a Nickelback fan.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Oct 2014 07:02:04 +0000
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